The Vamper Heauxlife

I know I haven’t posted anything in a while, but I also haven’t really done much in the way of renovations, either. I built a bed and put up lights, and that’s pretty much it. 😂 I’ll do another post that describes my bed in more detail, because I want to include pics.

I picked a color scheme, which is pretty fucking important, in my opinion. The colors are rose gold/baby pink and mint green. Pink and green are obviously my favorite colors, so that part wasn’t the question, it was just a matter of determining what shades of pink and green. So I decided on pastels, with rose gold for any metal parts.

The vamper made her maiden voyage to Eugene, where I was gifted some tools and supplies, including a mini fridge and microwave! Those were the main things I want as far as my kitchenette area anyway. I just need to figure out a way to have them installed and powered.

Which brings me to my next main concern, I need a source of power that isn’t my car battery. When I started this project, it was summer and I felt like I was dying in the heat inside my car. I wasted a lot of gas and money from running my van’s air conditioner. Now it’s getting cold so I’ll be running into the same problem but with the heater. So I need a way to power my vamper, so I can run my kitchenette, charge my phone, and have a small fan/space heater. I definitely don’t want to rely on things that need disposable batteries.

It was suggested that I need a generator. I finally learned what that is. Everyone who suggested that is apparently trying to kill me or set me up to get robbed. Generators run on gasoline, and I like to smoke, so I can’t have a generator running in a small, enclosed space. It would bring a whole new meaning to ‘auto-erotica asphyxiation’! 😂

Then someone suggested I somehow attach the generator to the outside of my van. I might as well paint ‘please steal from me’ on the outside. No thanks.

Another suggestion was solar power. First of all, that’s fucking expensive. No one was volunteered to sponsor or fund this yet. Also, I finally just saw a van with solar panels and it looked fucking stupid. I thoughtfully took a pic.

This looks like such a shitty set-up, anyone could just come snatch it right off, or it’ll fly right off the moment you go above 5 mph or turn a corner. Again, no thanks.

I have a feeling someone is going to say “but you’re not supposed to leave it up while driving, it’s just for when you’re parked and chilling inside like they probably are.” Sounds like that’s defeating the purpose, so even harder no thanks. I don’t want to basically re-install my power every time I stop. So how could it be charging as I’m driving around in the daytime, if its not even where it’s supposed to be? Sounds dumb. No thanks.

I was told I can somehow have a secondary car battery and get an inverter. I’m still learning about that, but it seems to be the best option. I’m also looking into portable power stations, so I can recharge them when I’m visiting friends or at work. 😂 So anyone with expertise in that department, contact me. 😏

Another upgrade I’m considering is getting the roof raised, so I’ll have standing room. I’m looking into pricing for that. I found a company in Southern California that can make and install it. Also accepting contributions for that, as well. 😉

I did also have some repairs done, my instrument clusterfuck panel or whatever the fuck it’s called, kept going out. It was pretty terrifying at first to have no idea how fast I was going, but I actually had a decent internal speedometer. But now it’s replaced, so no longer a problem.

I can’t think of any other progress I’ve made, at least on my vamper. Now I’m working on organizing my storage unit and getting rid of some things, which I’m trying to hurry and finish before I take my first big road trip.

That’s all for now. The next post will probably be the bed tutorial. I’m also trying to find the YouTube video from which I got my idea. So I’ll take pics of my bed, find the YouTube video so I can give inspo credit, and then you’ll have a new blog post from me! Yay!

Welcome to my blog. I am Sally Blunts, but you can just call me Blunts. Like I mentioned in my bio, I am an out-and-proud semi-privileged sex worker. I pretty much do the full range of sex work, from stripping to full service. I’m based in Portland, Oregon with the ability to travel to anywhere in the continental US. I don’t currently have a passport to travel further.

I just unceremoniously turned 35 last month. I had a goal to change my living situation by that day and I achieved it. I was living in a toxic, abusive environment and I had to get away. I hadn’t owned a vehicle since before moving to Portland, so it had been over 3 years. I needed a place to live and transportation, so why not kill two birds with one stone, as they say, and get a vehicle with living space. I had a few obstacles to overcome, like not actually having any money saved to buy anything, my deadline, and a few other aspects that made my plan seem impossible, unrealistic and unattainable.

But then it got to the point where I didn’t really have a choice. There’s a hilarious 90s movie based on a SNL character called Superstar, starring Molly Shannon. In it, her character’s grandma is speaking to a group of teens who are trying to learn a dance routine for a school performance. So the grandmother is giving them a pep talk, saying things like, “when I say ‘kick’, you kick! When I say ‘jump’, you jump! When I say ‘booga-booga’, you booga-booga!” Molly asks, “grandma, what’s booga-booga?” She replies, “I don’t know. But if I tell you to do it, you better fucking figure it out.” Why did I mention that now? Because ever since I saw it, I use booga-booga to when I’m not sure what to do, but I know I need to fucking figure it out. So now I needed to booga-booga a van.