Value King

He looks like a parody of a human being

Everything's a dildo if you're brave enough

Never let an old person book stuff for you, because they’ll just mess shit up

If you've got many eggs in many baskets, you're bound to break a few

Helen's stuff is like gas; it expands to fill the space

You’ve gotta have a spreadsheet, otherwise you don’t know where you’re going

When you're balls deep it's going to be right up the where it matters

Blind people have eyes, they just don't work

If it's a no, piss off back to your Glens

What's the matter, have you got sand in your vagina?

you have opened the door to hell and all sorts or hippies are coming out

it’s something you don’t talk about until it goes wrong. It’s like guttering

For £600, holding the new iPhone should be like holding God's cock

It shows a lack of respect for the gravity of the situation