You can be my wingman any time.

2015? that wasnt even that long ago. it was only... [doing the math] ohhh. ohhh..... oh dear...

girl something good has to happen at some point

can somebody who is really good at assassinating please just try their best

*bottles up emotions* this coping shits easy

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

this is why everyone on this website is a virgin

I’m not gonna fuck the telemarketer man

it's kind of like we live in medieval times cause everything is mid and evil

things used to be $5

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner

fuck therapy i wanna beat the shit out of someone