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Hi! I'm val (she/her) and this is where you can find updates, reblogs, rants, resources, and general trashposting.

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you’ve got a dancer in her prime, graduated from Juilliard, joined a company near immediately. a small one sure, but its work. and she gets to do what she loves and her fellow dancers are incredible and her life outside of dance isn’t as pretty, but god she wouldn’t trade it for anything.

except the real world finds the best time to crash in, you know? times aren’t so good, and artists take the hit hard as anybody. there’s animators losing jobs, actors fighting to keep even unimportant roles. and her company hasnt sunk yet but she knows it’s going to happen, probably sooner than later. her fellow dancers are making exit strategies, families or partners or other jobs. 

and she’s not trapped, nothing like that. she has money saved up, dollars pinched here and there. but she really really doesn’t want to go. she left her home for all this, braved her parents shaking their heads and her neighbours’ pity. god she refuses to go back. it won’t happen. she needs to find a way to keep things afloat.

so she reaches out, maybe. talks to old teachers and friends, and one of them says something casual: there’s someone she might want to meet. some nouveau riche, made it big in tech. sponsors the arts, he’s eccentric and all that. likes underdogs, probably an ego thing, sees himself in them. worth a shot, she figures, so she dresses herself up and does her makeup to make herself look sweet and stretches. she goes to the right parties and brushes up against the right men and steps towards his booth. he’s holding court there and she slips in with all her charm in place. offers them all free tickets. we’re small but to borrow your words, we’ve got real grit, she tells them. flashes her teeth, leans in. pray this works. fuck it, nothing to lose, right? 

he’s handsome up close, red hair and dark eyes. she’d be more taken if she wasn’t so focused. his smile is amused, lopsided as he sets down his glass. this a bribe, doll?

product demo, she jokes. whatever you want it to be. your time is money; I promise it’ll be a worthy purchase.

and it works. he goes, loves what he sees. oh you’ve got real grit alright. there it is, the lifeline. not permanent, she doesn’t think, but anything is fine. her smile is very very real, absolutely stunning with her post-performance flush. 

thank you! thank you so much!

the money rolls in a week later. better costumes now, better venues. more chances. money so she can finally pay overdue bills. he buys them a studio to practice in, with private rooms and everything, it’s some of the best facilities she’s seen. she makes religious use of them, stays up late practicing, looking like a madman as she bends and turns in the mirrors. leaps up high and arches, perfect form, picturesque. lands so delicate you’d swear she were silk, to the applause from an audience of one.

it’s their patron. he’s smiling and she smiles back, adjusting her ponytail. the late night makes her daring. do you want any routine in particular? I can put on a show.

whatever you love most is the response, so she gladly listens. she picks a solo piece, requiring high jumps and tight, calf-burning turns. precision in every way, all her passion and love wound through her muscles and her movements. this is what she lives for, her art and performance. what she’ll give her life to do. 

and she lands. and there’s applause. beautiful, he says, exactly what you said. grit.

thank you, she pants, red with her exertion. a burst of emotion overtakes her. really, I mean it. thank you for recognizing us. our company—we’ll repay you. I swear.

he tilts his head. the fluorescents catch on his thoughtful smile. us?

she flounders. not for long though. yeah, she says. all of the dancers here. we’re all working hard and we’ll—

he hums. how sweet of them, he says. you’ll have to break the bad news of my refusal to your company, I’m afraid.

..what?

no need to panic. he steps closer, and she realizes all of a sudden why some businessmen are called sharks. there’s all the space around her but in the mirrors it looks like she’s surrounded. I want to make a deal with you. you have what they don’t, you see.

she swallows. her stomach feels weighed down, but she tells herself to stay upright. stay calm. tell me what it is. I’ll do it.

dance for me, he says plainly. choreograph something interesting and perform it to me. keep me in your audience, darling, and I promise you: you’ll get all you want.

part of his phrasing strikes her as odd. I’ll stay with my company, she says, half demand half question. right? 

a mild smile is all she gets in return. not a no but not a yes, either.

and she’s standing in the building he owns, on floors paid for by his money. and they can try to wrangle funding from other places, but it’s not about that. it’s about how quickly he got the building, deal signed sealed delivered within weeks, buddy of his apparently. it’s about all those ‘buddies’ around him when they first met. he sponsors the arts. his name is worth something and theirs… theirs just isn’t.

fine. alright. she nods, sharp, restrained. she’ll play his game. she knows she can’t just toss him off and this interest of his: it’s what she wanted, if only in part. take what you can get and run with it, be an artist and not a romantic.

deal, she says, and god the look in his eyes makes her shiver. makes her wonder if he’s smelling blood in the water, or if she left a trail of it long ago and now he’s closing the hunt.

really, she doesn’t know which is worse.

i made a moodboard :)

Anon, get your laptop out because you NEED to keep writing. I love the prose and language you used so much, you're stunningly talented.

she realizes all of a sudden why some businessmen are called sharks. there’s all the space around her but in the mirrors it looks like she’s surrounded.

The tone is so perfect! The way she feels so boxed in. The idea that deep down he's predatory, hungry.

keep me in your audience, darling, and I promise you: you’ll get all you want.

I love the implication here!! He's a businessman through and through, and on the surface this feels so transactional. But deep down you know there's so much more to it than that.

makes her wonder if he’s smelling blood in the water, or if she left a trail of it long ago and now he’s closing the hunt.

The imagery!! The sense of inevitability you convey here is stunning.

The MC is so enjoyable to follow! She's got perseverance, she's hungry for it, she's willing to take risks. You can't help rooting for her.

BUT HEY!! he get me an arabian horse so I guess I can move on from some things he did, (I’m arab I like to insert myself at least in some ways when I read a x reader, I like to think he get the horse because she’s the most pretty and because of where I’m from, doesn’t let him off the hook that much but I would take it☝️🤍)

pretty arab horse for a pretty arab girl duh 💞

writing this chapter was so fun too because I knew exactly how I wanted it to end. So every single time he did something sweet I was sitting there like

for me??? Yay!!

the harsh realities of old man fucking alas

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSAyxwqoQ/

Do you have a Patreon or Kofi by any chance?? I’d love to donate if there are :3333

Hope you're doing well!! (English isn't my first language!! I'm so sorry for mistakes)

Okay this may seem random but omfg I am absolutely obsessed with your works. Like the way you word thing, the way you describe it in detail, the vibe IS FUCKING IMMACULATE !!! I've never seen such an amazing writing blog in my life /srs /gen / pos

Yan Soldier is so UGHHH GYATT DAYUHM— And the way I screamed when he started speaking Russian (it’s my native language!!). Боже мой, он такой душечка и такой охуенный… лучший солдатик в мире. Хочу его съесть www

And also this may sound dark, but tbh the previous year in college was damn hell. And I can’t describe how happy I got (and get) when you post!!! Anything, really. It’s always a joy to lay down after projects and dream away (´∀｀)

So thank you so much for such wonderful work and I’m wishing you the best of the best in life!!! Big hugs and great wishes 💖💖💖‼️‼️‼️

This literally made my whole week!! You have no idea how much it means to me that you're not only enjoying my work, but that it's also a part of your day to day.

There have been so many times in my life where I was obsessed with a certain story or writer. And whenever they posted something, it would instantly make me giddy. The idea that you guys sort of feel that way about me is so crazy to consider, because I know exactly where you're coming from.

Also!! It's so cool when you guys relate to my characters in terms of identity! For me, it's such a fun little surprise when I'm reading something and my country is mentioned. Like hell yeah, you guys know whats up.

this just a vent but; I’m tired of the same creatures and storylines being used over and over again🙏 like instead of a demonic jester why not a demonic clown? more fun even if he was a part of a circus full of monsters that try to appear like a normal circus to the humans but are really just a bunch of deranged inhuman killers :/

I totally missed MerMay which I'm kind of bummed about, because monster yans are LONG overdue on my page! My next batch of fics are focused more on hybrids and omegaverse tropes (also something I've been meaning to do for a while) and after that I have a yandere slasher multi-part fic I'd like to do for Halloween, but hopefully I can fit some scary stuff in for October.

You've combined my biggest hyper fixations, reading and bikers and I'm gonna EAT THIS UPP

When I saw it was a multi-chapter series I screamed, I'm so excited you feed your children so well -🥀