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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
some of you guys need a reality check. hiding behind anonymous accounts to comment on someone's tumblr, whether it be their relationship, fics, personal life. you do NOT knows these people outside of this app. this is exactly the reason so many of us left in the first place and why writers constantly lose motivation or simply don't feel safe in communities anymore. you build on parasocial relationships online then proceed to think your words cannot affect someone. if you aren't interested in someone's work, posts, art etc don't follow or interact. commenting on them parasocially is just sad.
Tumblr has always had its problems and the people who've followed me for a long time already know that. I don't want to keep repeating myself anymore. I'm tired and I'm done.
I don't know yet whether this is just a break of this place or me leaving for peace. Either way, I'm sorry to everyone who stayed with me through all of this journey. You're all such a wonderful community, but this is now the third incident that has pushed me to this point. Maybe someday, depending on how things go, I'll come back and post again. But for now, this is goodbye. I'm not cruel, the last chapter of Before the Fire Bows will come in the next few days.
And to the person who accused me of cheating: I genuinely hope that someday you’ll have the courage to apologize to my girlfriend and me directly instead of hiding anonymously and throwing around whatever hateful or ignorant thoughts came to your mind to even accuse me of something like that. Because congratulations, the trouble you wanted, you achieved.
Honestly this is so sad to see, people need to just keep their mouths and keyboards shut if they have nothing nice to say. It’s more common these days that authors are being chased out of tumblr by hate
*authors note~ Just having all the emotions right now. Might make this a full thing soon*
Dreams we use to share~
9 days ago, everything was taken from you. Although, that’s not accurate. It was taken from you slowly, drip by drip you watched as the dreams you once shared funnelled away into nothing. It’s a cruel world, unfair. People say you shouldn’t be sad. It was a long time coming. Why keep fighting for something, someone, who no longer deems you worth fighting for? To give up. Let go because that’s what’s expected of you now. Expect, you can’t do that.
Moving on with life comes with this cruel reminders of the dreams. You were a fool to think the submission day of your research project into outcast education would pass calmly. Expectations were met, nodding and simply smiling in the right places, yet inside you felt this crushing headache. Grief even. Because for three years you’d imagined this day. Her by your side as you made the final push to achieve your goals. The support you envisioned on the hard days was missing and no matter how much you explained that, no one understood. Maybe she would’ve, if only she still cared enough.
Pressing submit was full of this nerve wracking anxiety and self doubt. What if I did it wrong? What if it’s not good enough? What if I fail? Did I proofread enough? Yet in your head you’re reminded, she would’ve know exactly what to say. How to reassure you, she would’ve proofread it for you. If only she cared still. It’s safe to say the break up hit you hard, starting 3 weeks before submission day, you feel into a deep depressive hole, forcing your way out just three days before submission, cramming a whole year of research into three days. Basic needs going out the window, you’re reminded of your lack of care for yourself as you catch a glimpse of yourself in the window. Yet it’s submitted. Unchangeable. Just like her decision to walk away from you and smash those shared dreams like they meant nothing at all. At least, not to her.
The rest of the day you stay locked away, back down that deep dark depressive hole, wondering about what could’ve been. Wondering if she even remembered how important today is for you? Did she even care? You wrote an acknowledgment for her and then wiped it away, just as easily as she walked away from you. Yet your left, no research project to throw yourself into, always wondering and never knowing what this could’ve been and forced to accept this new future. Alone.
(I’m sorry principal weems for you are the placeholder in this fic but we all know you wouldn’t hurt us like this )
“I love you but I’m not in love with you” was all it took to crumble every wall, rip of every bandaid her I love you’d placed. A struggled whisper escaped your body, “it’s over isn’t it?” The death of hope still clingy to every word, you’d miss understood right? “Yeah” she muttered back the eyes that once held so much love for you piercing through your shattered soul. It’s almost inhuman, the cry that rips through you, your heart shattering into millions of tiny shards with one word. Gone. Years of love promises jokes and shared dreams taken in one cruel slash. Yet on the phone she seems so unaffected, almost as if she hasn’t just tore you apart. “Please. I’m sorry. I’ll fix it. I’ll be better. Please don’t end us” you rush out in between shaking breaths, lungs desperately trying to take in enough air. It’s a blur after that. A mess you’d rather not untangle.
Anger stirs within you that night, not straight away, a deep overwhelming sadness and pain takes the lead, yet the anger is there, simmering quietly in the background. Without her your life lost its meaning. Days past and she doesn’t reach out, you catch her talking to a someone you both know in Nevermore, who is honestly irrelevant because all that matters is she doesn’t choose you anymore. The anger builds day by day, flame by flame until it’s a raging inferno taking over every fiber of your being. Yet you see her, carrying on with daily life like she hasn’t just destroyed yours. Maybe you should leave Nevermore? Maybe even Jericho? But distance no matter how far will never change that your first love, true love shattered you with one random Saturday.
You convince yourself that you’re fine. You have to be. People suddenly grow brave, opinions you’ve never heard or asked for are given to you. The photos are the first thing to go, simply because it’s too painful. Every last photo deleted as you sobbed into the night. You were told it was the first step to healing, and you started to believe that. And then you get it. That notification. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it” and all of a sudden your heart drops into your stomach. The past few days, all you wanted was that text message. You remember how you begged and pleaded for her to love you. To want you. To say it was all a cruel prank. Desperately trying to keep her. Until it wasn’t enough. She left you in such a state, vulnerable and broken. And she still left. “We can fix this. Let’s work on ourselves.” Perhaps this would be all a horrible nightmare.
“It’s not you, it’s me” was sent a few days later. A rock seemed to have settled itself into your gut when it flashed your screen. “Maybe in the future. Not today, not tomorrow, not next week or next month but in the future. For now you deserve someone to treat you how you deserve and that’s not me.” For days it continued this way. One minute she loved you and you could fix this. Together. The next she can’t do it. She doesn’t want you. Even going as far to tell you to see other people. And yet each time your heart broke into tinier shards. Every time you tried to place them back together you found out one thing. No matter how much you tried it would never be the same again. Even if she told you she loved you and actually meant it, would you believe it? Healing seemingly impossible.
Everyone is said to have a soulmate. When you find them it’s said to just fit. You know instantly it’s them. And for you Larissa would always be your person. But the higher power seems to have a cruel sense of humour, you are simply destined to watch your person move on without you like you were simply a page in a chapter of her book. Perhaps your person is out there. Maybe not. But being sat on Jerichos bridge staring into the sunset you can’t bring yourself to care. Your person doesn’t want you. And living with this pain is simply unappealing. It doesn’t take you long to realise that you simply aren’t capable of living without her. People heal, that much is true. But you? A one way ticket in which you cling to the hope that deaths warm embrace can help patch your broken soul back together again. Freeing yourself from this pain. One last thing before you go, a simple daisy in your clenched hand.
“She loves me”
“She loves me not”
“She loves me”
“She loves me not”
“She loves me”
“She loves me not”
“She loves me”
“She loves me not” you whisper as you and the petal free daisy fall into whatever awaits you on the other side.
*Authors note~ just a way to vent my feelings about life recently•
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Entertain me? Feel free to hit the asks with characters or questions I just wanna chat about my favourite ladies and engage with you guys as a celebration for finishing my assignment today!
“I love you but I’m not in love with you” was all it took to crumble every wall, rip of every bandaid her I love you’d placed. A struggled whisper escaped your body, “it’s over isn’t it?” The death of hope still clingy to every word, you’d miss understood right? “Yeah” she muttered back the eyes that once held so much love for you piercing through your shattered soul. It’s almost inhuman, the cry that rips through you, your heart shattering into millions of tiny shards with one word. Gone. Years of love promises jokes and shared dreams taken in one cruel slash. Yet on the phone she seems so unaffected, almost as if she hasn’t just tore you apart. “Please. I’m sorry. I’ll fix it. I’ll be better. Please don’t end us” you rush out in between shaking breaths, lungs desperately trying to take in enough air. It’s a blur after that. A mess you’d rather not untangle.
Anger stirs within you that night, not straight away, a deep overwhelming sadness and pain takes the lead, yet the anger is there, simmering quietly in the background. Without her your life lost its meaning. Days past and she doesn’t reach out, you catch her talking to a someone you both know in Nevermore, who is honestly irrelevant because all that matters is she doesn’t choose you anymore. The anger builds day by day, flame by flame until it’s a raging inferno taking over every fiber of your being. Yet you see her, carrying on with daily life like she hasn’t just destroyed yours. Maybe you should leave Nevermore? Maybe even Jericho? But distance no matter how far will never change that your first love, true love shattered you with one random Saturday.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anyone got any good fics for going through a breakup. My little losing their caregiver etc like anything in those vibes for any of the ladies I write for would be much appreciated
annaxmalina
discoholicmusic
romaincrisis
jacobvanloon
baratheonpilled
dededos
titsay
