ITS YOUR DAD.

I just made a fucking sexy soup meme collage

what a beautiful time of year everyone is growing veegtables for me spacifically, one problem though you need to make fences shorter im sure its a mistake but i cant reach some of them

hello imptortant message from deer youyr doing it agen. i cant eet the vegbals you are growing for me like this

staring at the dessert menu and twirling my hair and going "should I be baaaaddd" until the autistic girl I'm eating with says "there is nothing bad about eating dessert. it is a morally neutral action"

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man

updated the character limit on the blinkie maker! previously 15 characters, you can now attempt to cram a whopping 25 characters on your blinkies!! certain fonts and font sizes WILL cut off. use your best judgement ok?

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

you can't come to my birthday party? aw dang, (remembers it's bad to guilt trip people) this doesn't matter to me at all (remembers to demonstrate that i am affected by you to affirm your positive presence in my life) but while you're away i will die (remembers not to guilt trip again) unpreventably. unrelated to you. don't worry about it. (remembers to express care through actions and not just words) you're in the will.

not my amazing digital circus not my amazing digital monkeys

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg