VOMIT QV33N

i’m a girl who is hard to love. i have always been too much. i am always there with nothing to offer. i try to love people who don’t want to love me. i’m a body in bed. like a piece of furniture. something to hold on to. it’s not really a bad thing but i want more. i want to make a life with someone. i have a great need to love and be loved. 

i don’t feel like a real person. i feel like i exist outside of time and everyday life. i have never fit in anywhere. every group of people i found to hang out with i was a random person that came along after they all had known each other for years. i am awkward and have trouble making conversation unless i’m drunk or high and then i’m just fucking weird. i feel more alone when i’m in a group than when i’m in my room by myself. i don’t like me how can i expect other people to. i want to be different but i don’t know how to change myself entirely. i’m afraid i won’t ever really live.