the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

you're not making enough of stone fruit season. that's another thing you're fucking up. a few dozen stone fruit seasons you get your whole life. you need to take a hard look at your peach and mango consumption.

its everything is ok thursday today everything is ok

Like you do need to recognise sometimes that a person is not picking up your social cues and adjust your communication style accordingly. If someone isn't understanding you then you need to change up how you're communicating and not just say the same thing over & over.

don’t ever kill your self because maybe someday you will get brunch with your tumblr mutual

i mean this from the bottom of my heart: no one is impressed by your loud ass car. actually we talked about it and we all want you dead.

yes, yes we understand you have a very loud penis, we don't care.

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

today i just (remembers to maintain privacy online) did something really cool. you have to trust me

what doesn't kill you makes you overshare on the internet

i like it when people compliment me. i like it... when people like me. (looks around to make sure nobody is about to shoot me)

goddddd and i just UGH but also UGHHHHH and aughhhh.... oughhhhhhhhh...... ACK !!! and.... aghhhhhhhh. ughhhhh ! UGH !!!!! and i can't even because AGHHHHHHH. UGHHH