Whatever

Did you step on it?

I forgot it was there & stepped on it, plummeting through the concealed trapdoor into the cellars. Please send help.

I can’t see anything! It’s pitch black down here. All that’s visible is my eyes.

Just make sure there isn’t a second, more dangerous pair of eyes somewhere around yours

Hey

TRUE HATERS, SINCE DAY 1 THEY HAVENT BEEN GIVING THEM A FUCKING INCH

20 years later. you're kermit. opening night at the muppet theater. you look up. you can't believe it. those two awful cunts from next door are here. neither of them died yet. they're going to be here, forever.

Don’t forget the main plot was a damning satire of the brokenness and inherent racism of the American justice and prison systems! Louis Sachar does not fuck about

It always fuck me up that older people don’t understand how this story is as essential to most american children as Gone with the Wind or Mary Poppins was.

unironically, this is one of the best books/movies for young people that exists

Kissing Kate Did Nothing Wrong

And the technical writing of Holes is perfect. Like, it’s one of the most technically-perfect books ever written. Basically any plotting or pacing or characterization issue you’re having, read Holes and really study how Sachar did it. THE LIZARDS! THE LIZARDS.

the twisty prophecies! the lizards! the lipstick! the humor! this book doesn’t play. a true classic.

and! in a twist, it’s actually the most accurate depiction of archaeology across pretty much all media!

Everything I’ve ever done leads back to me

everyones gotta stop reblogging this bro they're gonna find it and get so mad they try to strangle me again

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

The Eiffel Tower gets slightly bigger every year. That's because it's alive and slowly absorbing the girders and I-beams from the other buildings in the city. The French government didn't want to alarm its citizens, so they made up a story about it being built by an architect, but that's not what happened at all. In fact, despite its name, the Eiffel Tower isn't really a tower at all.

It's a Paris sight