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giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

this is how sharks stay smooth

Bro the cuttlefish and everything else checkin it ou

the best part is the rapidly growing crowd of onlooker fish and squids hoping that this event will end in a festive shower of delicious shark guts (it did not. woe to the peanut gallery)

canada lynx voted the animal of all time. Boy why are you so paws