Miles Radcliffe

Those are the horniest fucking statues I’ve ever seen.

“why do you have that look on your face?”

“finish what you’re doing, we have to talk.”

“what have you done to yourself?”

“did you do something different with your hair?”

“it doesn’t do any good to get worked up.”

“when was the last time we had a real conversation.”

“are you in the witness protection program, or what?”

“there’s something wrong with me.”

“no, i don’t hate you.”

“hey stupid.”

“we’re aren’t them.”

“looks like i’ll live long enough to make you pay.”

“you know you’re wrong.”

“i don’t understand, why are you doing this?”

“now, before i say anything, promise me you’ll stay calm.”

“what makes me so special?”

“you have no idea what i’ve been through.”

“you really don’t have to do that, not for me.”

“did you really think you’d get a second chance?”

"how about we don’t do that.”

“i have a lot going for me, but humility is not one of them.”

“you’re the worst.”

“i don’t need you right now.”

“don’t just stand there, looking at me.”

“i thought you were supposed to call me.”

“take my hand.”

“i need you.”

“you’re allowed to need help sometimes.”

“for someone who doesn’t like to feel things, you sure feel a lot of it out loud.”

“when this is all over, i want it to be you and me.”

“why won’t you tell me what happened?”

“you don’t know what this means to me.

“i know it doesn’t make sense.”

“i’m trying really hard to keep it together.”

“i know you’re new, but we do things a little differently here.”

“your voice is putting me to sleep.”

“did you find what you were looking for?”

"you knew and you didn’t even warn me?”

“well, i guess that’s broken.”

“i thought it was part of the act.”

“you think u don’t know you’re only here because they sent you?”

“you promised to call me if you didn’t know what to wear.”

“you can keep a secret, can’t you?”

“how could you do this to me?”

“put the gun down, dearest. i have news!”

“i know you don’t have any reason to trust me, but you need to know something.”

“if you’re here to tell me what happened last night, someone beat you to it.”

“people think i’m weird.”

“i think i’m losing myself again.”

“you can’t be here.”

“i wish you’d come to the funeral.”

“do you know what today is?”

“so, you broke my favourite mug… and you’re breaking up with me?”

“i need to get out.”

“it’s like i’m cursed or something.”

“you are remarkably well-behaved tonight, what have you been up to?”

“you gonna eat that?”

“sir, the pony rides are for children only.”

“i don’t want you to worry about that anymore.”

“we’ll never make it in time.”

“you’d be late for your own funeral.”

“you should have seen it coming.”

“oh, good, you’re here! hold this.”

“why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“on a scale of one to ten, how do you feel about nachos right now?”

“is this how you flirt with everyone?”

“how much longer till we’re there?”

“what have you done?”

“it’s time for you to repay that debt you owe me.”

“where did you get that? who gave it to you?”

“what kind of mother has thoughts like that?”

“i know I haven’t been what you needed, but i’m here, and i wanna help.”

“i never want to hear you say that again.”

“you’re all i have.”

“i know it’s not perfect, but i did follow the recipe this time.”

“i was doing so well until you showed up.”

“don’t eat that! i made it ‘specially for our guest.”

“it’s not that i don’t like my life, it’s that i don’t have the energy to enjoy it.”

“how can you stand this place?”

“don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t exactly blend in.”

“you need to stop.”

“i don’t like that look, what happened?”

“is that seriously your password?”

“what’s your problem?”

“you had no right to use it without asking.”

“oh, wow, you weren’t kidding.”

“i couldn’t trust my own parents to protect me.”

“i’m surprised you haven’t been arrested yet. wait, no, i’m not.”

“why do you want to help me?”

“ten bucks for that piece of crap?”

“we have to hurry, they’re coming!”

“hey, look what came in the mail!”

“do you want to get a drink or something?”

“please tell me you didn’t eat that.”

“the worst part is you didn’t even notice.”

“if i wanted help, i would have asked.”

“wanna tell me what’s going on with your grades?”

“you need to leave.”

“talk to me, okay? i need to know what’s going on.”

“i do blame you.”

“sometimes life deals you a bad hand, but you can still play your cards right and win.”

“you’re no longer useful to me.”

Knights In Shining Armor

💜 For @utmcstchivclry​ 💜

This was not her land. She knew that. From the feel of the soil and the grass under her boots, to the sound of the wind in the trees. The sight of the flora and fauna were her spies. The lay of the land was her guide. The unfamiliar garb and manner of the locals and their keep were her evidence. It all spoke that this land was not her own. At this, she startled. Her knees felt weak and she felt an unexplained tightness to her chest. Had it not been for her grip on Altair’s reins, she might have fallen in shock. Her horse knickered, pushing against her to keep her up. The pale shire looked at her with kind blue eyes, whinnying as he held his head against her chest to try and comfort her.

This was not her home. She did not know where she was and she was… afraid. Yes, for the first time in years, the knight felt a fear unlike anything she’d known before for quite some time. She clutched at his reins, murmuring to her steed to keep herself from falling to her knees in tears. Yet a sound broke her from her loathing. Both her and her horse perked up at the sound of a person’s cry for help. Help! Help! There is a beast behind me! She did not think twice to mount her horse and draw her sword, charging towards the source.

Miles was returning from a meeting with one of the neighboring villages when he caught sight of the beast hot on the heels of an endangered townsperson. Without hesitation, he sent the horse underneath him after them. As they sped off, Miles was already coming up with a plan in his head to cut the beast off from whoever it was chasing, snapping the reins to encourage his steed to increase her speed; if he caught up quickly enough, he could get ahead and distract the beast long enough for it to follow him. All he’d have to do is lead it back into the mountains where it came from and quietly escape.

Up ahead, Miles thought he saw another of his knights, or at least the knight of a different part of Rindlocke entirely. The beast had suddenly came to a stop before them, but the reason for that was unknown until he got closer. As he pulled back the reins to stop his horse, it was clear that the beast was killed—as if the creature’s severed head hadn’t been a fairly big indicator. It certainly wasn’t what he’d initially had in mind as means of stopping it; slaying a beast of that size was quite a messy process, and he would have hated to have his squire, or even Rowan, panic at the sight of him after a gory encounter. Nevertheless, all that mattered was that whoever it was after was now safe. Rather stunned, Miles looked from the dead creature to its apparent slayer.

⚔️ utmcstchivclry ⚔️

Only a few minutes passed after they’d made it back to the hideout when Miles began to stir, his attempts to blink back the darkness seemingly futile once he realized the darkened cloth was still over his face. His memory of the events that took place before he arrived here were just a bit foggy, but he had a fairly good idea of what was happening. Creators, again with the ransoms? Not something that happened regularly, but just enough times that Miles knew what to do.

Though his arms were still tied—as well as his legs—he was able to move them enough to feel at his sides for his dagger. Nothing there. Either his captor was wise enough to take it away from him, or he dropped it after he was knocked out. Perfect. Simply wonderful. Not that he would’ve had plans to use it right away, but now that it was gone, escaping could be a little more difficult.

With that in mind, Miles decided his best option for the time being was not to cause problems right away; he would defend himself if necessary, but for now he’d have to behave. He did make a mental note, however, to have a meeting with the rest of his knights about staying on the lookout for these kinds of crimes when he went home.

The sound of muffled crying and rattling echoed around the thick walls of the warehouse basement. The familiar stench of blood and despair stung Boris’ nostrils as he sat idly by. He noticed the stirring of his latest capture and leaned forward in his chair, pulling the cloth from the man’s head so he could at least breathe. Whether he looked around or not was no concern at this point - he didn’t know where he was.

The room he’d been stuck in was windowless. Cement walls, cement floor, all grey and sparsely decorated with chips and cracks betraying damage inflicted from previous unruly individuals that had been housed here. The iron door was rusted but solid looking and sealed shut with multiple locks. Above them flickered a pale yellow light, shining down on the two chairs they sat in. Boris was slumped off to the side of Miles, offering him a sheepishly apologetic look. He wished as much as the knight that he wasn’t in this situation.

Creators, was he on Earth?? What was he to do should he escape? How was he supposed to explain to any authoritative figure that he resided in a medieval realm without being checked into an asylum? Gods, what a mess this was going to be, no matter the outcome.

As Miles took in his location, he caught sight of his apparent captor sitting only a few feet away from him, immediately glaring as a result. “You don’t have to stare so intensely, I’m obviously not going anywhere,” he muttered as he looked down at the rope bindings that held his arms and ankles together; he had to wonder if he might be able to use his armor to pinch the ropes hard enough to snap. Boris’ thickly-accented words caught his attention next, causing Miles to scoff.

⚔️ utmcstchivclry ⚔️

Merciful Creators, if Miles wasn’t fully awake before, he sure was now. He should have just stayed at the castle, if only he hadn’t been so stubborn. If he was lucky, another knight would be traveling the path to at least escort him the rest of the way, but that would have been just a little too convenient. For the moment, it was best to act as if he wasn’t paying the man turning the corner behind him any attention; he’d fight if Boris attempted anything first. Gods, what the hell did he want? If he’d needed help or assistance, he would have spoken up by now!

The stone that’d been thrown landed in a bush only a few feet off the path, momentarily catching Miles’ attention before he was pulling his dagger from its holster. That was when a burlap sack came down over his head, restricting much of his vision and some of his air flow. His best option was to start swinging the dagger in his hands behind him, even if he couldn’t see what he was hitting. Arms tightened around his body from behind before he could have much luck striking anything, and he felt his air flow really become limited as one arm went around his neck.

With a grunt, Miles backed himself into Boris’ body in an attempt to knock him down, while trying to move his feet close to where Boris’ were positioned. As soon as he had an idea of where they were, Miles jumped down on both feet as hard as he could, using the heels of his boots to dig into them. If he didn’t escape soon, he was done for. Creators, please let another knight be close by, he thought to himself. It didn’t take much for him to get increasingly lightheaded, spots forming in what little vision he had before he went limp.

He’d narrowly managed to avoid getting knicked by the dagger - something of a relief considering he wasn’t great at patch jobs. This whole operation would be a lot smoother if he didn’t leave a trail of evidence behind him or have to explain why he had a gash in his arm. Likewise, he counted his lucky stars that he stuck with the recommendation to wear steel toes for this job. The metal in his shoes took most of the weight the man attempted to press onto his feet. Still, the pain had the kidnapper clenching his teeth and hissing a bit at the ache the move left. Looks like he’d need an ice pack after all.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled in Russian, “It’s just business.”

The apology did little to comfort him or relieve the weight on his conscience as he felt the man starting to slip off his feet in his arms. Boris held the grip for another three or so minutes - not long enough to kill, but long enough to ensure he wasn’t playing sleepyhead. Enough to keep him out long enough to get back. He dragged the knight off into the treeline, securing his arms and legs with a couple bites of nylon rope he’d kept in one of the pockets of his cargo pants, and taking the time to thoroughly ensure that his victim didn’t have anymore weapons on. Once he was certain there would be no more trouble, he threw the limp man over his shoulder.

The hard part was done. Now all that was left to do was bring hm back. Easy enough he supposed. He stuck to the forest, following the path he’d come down in the shadows, just out of sight of any potential passerby that might witness him in the act. The most difficult part was definitely trying to avoid getting lost while navigating around the bustling town and finding the quiet road he’d come in on without getting lost. But he managed well enough and without wasting much time. Before he knew it, he was back in his rightful realm of the human world - and just in time for lunch!

Though his arms were still tied—as well as his legs—he was able to move them enough to feel at his sides for his dagger. Nothing there. Either his captor was wise enough to take it away from him, or he dropped it after he was knocked out. Perfect. Simply wonderful. Not that he would’ve had plans to use it right away, but now that it was gone, escaping could be a little more difficult.

“It’s the work of a curse, your highness.”

“Your highness, we need to get you inside.”

“Shall we haul him/her/them off to the dungeons?”

“I will not have such beasts roaming my kingdom!”

“I shall begin a war with whom I wish, magicks or not!”

“The guards say they’ve seen a dragon to the North…”

“There’s a strange sound coming from the catacombs.”

“Have we no courageous knights left to slay the beast?”

“They betrothed me to a dwarf. But, I refuse to be wed.”

“Perhaps we should beseech the elves. They may help us!”

“As a ruler, you have the choice to be merciful to such beings.”

“You are a merciless tyrant. And I curse you to my final breath.”

“With all due respect, you know nothing of ruling such creatures.”

“Surely we cannot stay there. People whisper that he is a… vampire.”

“I wonder, would you make deals with devils to protect your kingdom?”

“I know these lands better than most. I needn’t an army to defend me.”

“There’s nothing wise in starting a war with the magical, your highness.”

“Must we invite the fae, your majesty? They always cause such trouble.”

“And she claimed she saw mermaids in the moat. I don’t think she’s well.”

“It’s not bandits you need fear out here. There’s creatures more dangerous.”

“A ruler such as yourself should not play with powers you do not understand.”

“They townsfolk, they mutter about you, highness. They say you are not human.”

“The halls of this castle are rumored haunted. Are you sure you wish to stay here?”

“You have already ensured there is no place for beings such as us before your throne.”

⚔️ utmcstchivclry ⚔️

So far, moving from his original place didn’t seem to help the feeling of unease that continued to grow. Nothing suspicious was happening at the town’s entrance; had there been, the other knights in the area would already have been on top of it. Regardless, whatever Miles was feeling could easily have been a result of his lack of sleep. Perhaps he was trying too hard to be awake and alert, giving him a false sense of suspicion in the process. He should have been back at the castle anyway, he clearly needed better rest. Even with that in mind, he didn’t quite feel like ignoring the odd vibe he was getting, anything could still happen on the way home. He could always take the route around the town that was used by other knights. It was out of the way of the traffic flow, as to keep from accidentally trampling the townsfolk with their horses, but a little more of a walk wouldn’t hurt.

As Miles turned to take the long route back to the castle, he momentarily caught sight of a bald man in what looked like modern day clothing, and suddenly, the feeling of unease nearly skyrocketed. Inwardly, he knew it wasn’t fair to judge a person based on appearances, and whether or not they were from Earth—technically, he himself was from Earth originally—but this felt more justified. He had caught the man watching him just a little too closely. He wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and tell himself he must not have been to Rindlocke before. Even still, Miles watched him just long enough to momentarily make eye contact before turning to the path home, his pace beginning to quicken as his hand gripped the handle on his dagger.

Shit, had he been spotted?

His target turned after a good long moment, and while he might have thought that he’d gone unnoticed at first, the second they made eye contact he knew the jig was up. He knew he needed to move fast.

Like a shadow, he slunk from the crowd, weaving between people with all the ease and grace of a wolf making his way undetected amongst a herd of sheep. His target stepped off the busy path, seemingly looking to take a quieter route. Boris was sure this was a deliberate move, some sort of bait to get him to reveal herself. Of that much he was certain. But even if it was trap, stealth and surprise were his element. A quiet path would still provide opportunity to create confusion, paranoia, and make his job easier.

He sped up to follow his target, navigating as best he could with the cover he was given. He looked around for a few rocks or pebbles or other random objects he might have been able to collect and silently gathered them in one monstrously large palm. He turned them over in his fingers a bit and stalked on. A familiar tingling made itself known in his muscles, his nerves suddenly alight with anxious energy. His breath shuddered with every quiet breath. Deft feet navigated the ground with cat-like grace and subtlety, bringing him closer to his prey. He tossed one of the stones he’d collected ahead of his target, looking to unnerve and distract him as he moved in.

Focus, focus. Steel your nerves.

The stone that’d been thrown landed in a bush only a few feet off the path, momentarily catching Miles’ attention before he was pulling his dagger from its holster. That was when a burlap sack came down over his head, restricting much of his vision and some of his air flow. His best option was to start swinging the dagger in his hands behind him, even if he couldn’t see what he was hitting. Arms tightened around his body from behind before he could have much luck striking anything, and he felt his air flow really become limited as one arm went around his neck.

⚔️ utmcstchivclry ⚔️

For most earth-dwellers coming to Rindlocke for the first time, the entrance they traveled through usually took them just a short walk away from the realm’s central kingdom, and main town—as long as the entrance they’d used to get there had naturally materialized, of course. Any unnatural entries, and one could find themselves starting off in the anguiline’s pit.

The Centre Kingdom was certainly one of Rindlocke’s busiest locations. Horse-drawn carriages went up and down the wide paths taking multiple people to multiple places, knights constantly came back and forth between arriving and departing the town; everything was on the move here, a potentially overwhelming atmosphere to newcomers ( not that the idea of a medieval haven wasn’t overwhelming enough ). Off to the side of the bustling energy, Miles silently monitored the activity going on in the town. Technically, his day was meant to be spent taking it easy, and not worrying about what kind of trouble could be happening in the middle of the kingdom, yet here he was: decked out in full armor, practically waiting for someone to commit a crime. Workaholic.

Miles was close enough to be visible, yet far enough to mostly go about his business unnoticed, making himself comfortable leaning against the wall of a small structure. Had he gotten anymore sleep the previous night—a maximum of four hours—perhaps the knight may have been slightly more vigilant and aware of what was going on around him. Yet again, that may have been possible if, for once, he would’ve chosen to take his day off.

At the same time, however, while Miles wasn’t fully awake, he couldn’t help the unnerving feeling growing in his gut. It was almost as if the Creators were trying to warn him about something, yet he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly. Nothing dangerous, to his knowledge, was happening, and still he had a feeling that something was wrong. Perhaps he’d find something if he changed up his location; the center kingdom was relatively big after all, there were plenty of places for bad things to happen here. With that in mind, Miles slowly pushed himself off the wall, remembering to stay alert as he made his way towards the town’s entrance.

The busy environment that greeted him as he approached the town’s entrance felt both foreign and familiar to Boris. All the business of New York rush hour with all the aesthetic of that Renaissance Fair he’d once gone to with his brother, yet somehow more authentic. The rush, the hustle and bustle, it all made him feel a little sick and longing for the time before all his work got out of hand. Navigating things overall was still a bit more complex though— trying not to bump into people or seem too conspicuous felt like it was making him look even more out of place than he already was.

Skillfully trained eyes looked over everything they could— from potential running routes and escape paths to individuals passing by. The knights were what drew his attention more than anything. Armor made identifying an individual person difficult. Thankfully, he didn’t need to look through them long to find who he was looking for. There was a man leaning against a wall that matched the description he was given. Dark brown hair? Check. Bright blue eyes? Check. Around 6’1”? Check. The face shape and build checked out— it seemed close enough to the strange mock-up sketch his boss had given him. Short of asking him his name before putting the back over his head, Boris had no other way of confirming if this was Miles Radcliffe, and he only had one shot at this lest he raise unneeded suspicion. Right then. Time to act.

His target was on the move, he analyzed. Trying to be alert but clearly not operating at peak efficiency. He was tired it seemed; weary but wary as well. This would require relative stealth and patience, something not easily done in a crowd of people, but he’d had bigger challenges. He stayed out for a moment, acted casual like he was just another busybody in an ocean of others, before assimilating into a stream of traffic that kept him at a decent enough distance from Miles to avoid a rousing suspicion, yet still close enough that he could maintain a sight line of him. It was a fine line to walk, but he’d done this hundreds of times before (much to his shame and regret). Stalking a target, waiting for an opportunity when they’re alone to grab them. Navigating a path to get away with them without drawing suspicion. He’d practically perfected the art of kidnapping in spite of how much he loathed it. But a job was a job, wasn’t it?

Closed starter for @utmcstchivclry

Boris had gotten his fair share of strangely specific requests. More often than not, it turned his stomach to go out and try to fulfill any of them. (He was willing to do a lot of things after all, but this work was not on his list.) But this request certainly topped the list in terms of strangeness. He was asked to capture and retrieve, of all things, a knight. He paused when he initially received the order from his boss, tilting his head, thinking he’d misunderstood him- his English was very poor after all. But no. No. Indeed, he’d heard his employer right. He wanted a knight. A proper suit-of-armor-wearing, horse-riding, sword-wielding knight. And a very specific one at that.

The instructions on where to find such a person were just as arbitrary and strange as the initial request itself. Boris assumed that his boss had to be messing with him. It’d certainly happened before. His higher-ups often liked to tease the fact that he was so desperate and so gullible to follow orders. They teased the fact he didn’t understand them too well and he was often the butt of their jokes. He expected this time to be no different. But he was wrong. When he followed his boss’ orders, he found himself in a very strange place that was completely unlike home. This was Rindlocke he supposed. By some miracle, he’d managed to make his way here. A strong urge in his mind told him he should leave immediately, turn back while he still could. But he knew what would happen if he returned empty-handed.

His only choice now was to press on. Find a knight. A very specific knight. He couldn’t remember the name but he could vaguely remember the description. …Where though? He looked around and starting walking, trying to get some sense over where he was and where he was going. Where was he going to find a knight? In a castle? A town? Oh brother, this was going to be harder than he thought. He didn’t even know where he was at the moment.

The Centre Kingdom was certainly one of Rindlocke’s busiest locations. Horse-drawn carriages went up and down the wide paths taking multiple people to multiple places, knights constantly came back and forth between arriving and departing the town; everything was on the move here, a potentially overwhelming atmosphere to newcomers ( not that the idea of a medieval haven wasn’t overwhelming enough ). Off to the side of the bustling energy, Miles silently monitored the activity going on in the town. Technically, his day was meant to be spent taking it easy, and not worrying about what kind of trouble could be happening in the middle of the kingdom, yet here he was: decked out in full armor, practically waiting for someone to commit a crime. Workaholic.

Miles was close enough to be visible, yet far enough to mostly go about his business unnoticed, making himself comfortable leaning against the wall of a small structure. Had he gotten anymore sleep the previous night—a maximum of four hours—perhaps the knight may have been slightly more vigilant and aware of what was going on around him. Yet again, that may have been possible if, for once, he would’ve chosen to take his day off.

Trigger warnings apply. Keep reading at your own risk.

“Heard a rumor that something lives in these woods, something… otherworldly.” 

“Are you /trying/ to get yourself killed?!”

“Your spellwork is shoddy at best.” 

“Enunciate! Don’t mumble!” 

“What sort of Craft do you do?” 

“You’re… you’re a witch.” 

“You’re going to get caught walking around like that.” 

“What a beautiful creature…” 

“Please do not drop things into my cauldron.” 

“They say that you’re a Fae.” 

“Your eyes… you’re not human, are you?” 

“What are you doing in a place like this?” 

“This isn’t your natural habitat…” 

“This is… impressive spellwork.” 

“Oh! What beautiful enchantments!” 

“Do you think you can make me one of these?” 

“I’m looking for someone whom people say can brew any cure.” 

“This place is cursed… I can feel it in my bones.” 

“Your magic is very oppressive.”

“Supposedly there’s a dragon who dwells here. Heard anything about that?” 

“Your wards and shields are pathetic.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, they’re a fairytale.” 

“Magic doesn’t exist.” 

“It’s probably some rabid wolves or something, not some ‘mythical creature’.”

“Ghosts aren’t real, and this place isn’t haunted!” 

“Isn’t it about time you crafted your own focus? 

“I’ve never seen magic quite like this.” 

“Please take your wand away from my throat.” 

“Is this a cure, or a poison?” 

“I didn’t know this type of herb grew here.” 

“Do you think someone will be willing to sell me a crystal?” 

“What are you going to do? Read my palm? Tell me my fortune on a poker hand?”

“I haven’t seen a creature like that in years.” 

“Excuse me, but have you seen any __ around these parts?” 

“A __ you say? No, I don’t believe I have.” 

“You should check the vendor down the block if you’re looking for /that/ kind of thing.” 

“You do know that even possessing that is illegal here, yes?”