Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader
Summary: Despite being in a relationship with Steve, you've never been able to let go off your insecurities when it comes to the brave, smart, gorgeous woman who had his heart before you ever did. And Steve's actions only seem to confirm your fears. (Scenes from Stranger Things, Season 4)
Warnings: Angst, angst and more angst, insecurities, suspected infidelity in established relationship, no use of y/n
"Woah woah woah- Nance- Nance! Where're you going?"
Before you realize what's happening, Steve lets go off your hand, the comforting familiar warmth of his touch suddenly gone. You turn, just as he bounds after.... Nancy.
You pause, your mouth opening in a question, before you think better of it and abruptly press your lips back together.
"Oh there's just... something I wanted to check out first," Nancy shrugs nonchalantly.
"Something you maybe want to share with the rest of us?" Dustin's quick to ask, his tone rightfully suspicious as your own eyes narrow.
The girl chooses secrecy now of all times?
"I don't want to want to waste your time. It's a real shot in the dark."
"I think we're at a stage where we're still exploring every possible route, Nancy," you mutter, a humourless chuckle escaping your lips. "Anything you're thinking, you can share with us. I promise we won't laugh." You add, your eyes flicking to the ground as you shake your head.
You know your tone's unnecessarily cold- anyone with a working ear and a brain could make it out- but you can't help it. There's just something about Nancy Wheeler that brings out the worst in you.
Actually, you do know what it is.
You can't not know, as you see your boyfriend's eyes soften when Nancy hesitates, clearly unwilling to voice her thoughts- concerns, whatever they are.
"It's too dangerous to go off on your own right now, Nance, you know that," Steve says slowly, the automatic tenderness in his voice as he addresses her twisting something inside you. "Flying solo with that Vecna creep on the loose?It's too dangerous, you- you need someone to..."
You see the gears turning in his head as he trails off, staring at Nancy like he knows exactly what he wants to do, but just needs that little push, that little motivation to actually go through with it.
You know what he's going to suggest before he even says it.
"Steve-" you start, but he's already turning to you, a determined look in his eyes as he flicks his keys over to you.
You fumble to catch them. "Here you go babe, I'll stick with Nance. You guys take the car and go check out the shrink." His mouth turns up at the corner in what you think is supposed to be a reassuring smile, but you're having none of it.
"Wha- Steve, you can't just-"
"That isn't necessary, Steve, I can go on my own," Nancy supplies, her eyes flicking between the two of you. She's clearly trying to be helpful, but you can't help the bitter resentment that burns in your chest as you look at her.
"Of course it is! You can't be alone right now, none of us should be alone. Who knows what can happen?" Steve shoots at Nancy.
"So what- you're just leaving me alone here-"
"You're not alone, babe you've got Robin and Dustin and Max."
You scoff. "Are you kidding me, Steve? You know what I mean... I-," you make a split second decision. "I'm coming with you, then."
Steve's eyebrows raise. But before he can say anything else, Robin interrupts.
"Sorry to... butt in, but I don't think any of you'd want me driving Steve's car."
"I don't have my license!"
You gawk. "Why don't you have your license?"
"Oh for the love of-" you bring a hand to your eyes, your patience ebbing, the fight draining out of you rapidly. Leaving behind nothing but that same cold, hard, ugly insecurity that you've never truly gotten over ever since you started dating Steve Harrington.
And at this rate? You don't think you ever will.
"Just fucking go then, Steve." You finally murmur.
You hear him sigh. "Babe.." He takes a step toward you.
"Alright, okay this is stupid," Robin exclaims, grabbing Dustin's walkie from his back and marching over to where Nancy stands.
"I will go with Nancy, you know us... ladies," she says with a pointed look in your direction, the message in her eyes evident. "You stay with your girl and the kids, dingus."
'Your girl'... oh please, you think bitterly. Some girl of his you were. You fight the urge to roll your eyes at Robin's words as she gives you all an awkward little salute, turning around to set off down the opposite path, Nancy following a second later.
"Be careful!" Dustin calls out after them, although you can barely hear him through the cloud of heaviness descending over your head. Heaviness that feels an awful lot like a burning pit of disappointment.
"Baby-" Steve finally starts, but you don't give him an opportunity to finish. You throw his keys back at him, not bothering to look up at him as you promptly turn around and walk back to his car.
You hear him sigh as he follows you, and the sound only serves to fuel your anger. He's letting out a sigh?
"Just get in the godamned car, Steve!" You snap at him. "And you two," you suddenly say, turning your attention to Max and Dustin. "Are you just going to stand there and gawk? Get in the car!"
Max looks like she wants to say something, her mouth opening, but Dustin gives her a look, and whatever it is she sees in it, her mouth falls shut once more. Barely though, it seems.
You don't have the strength to decipher the look. Or do anything else other than walk over to Steve's car, brushing off his hand as he reaches out to touch your shoulder. You yank open the car door and slide into to the passenger's side, slamming the door shut hard enough to make Steve wince.
Good, you think pettily. Let him suffer.
"Sooo, are we going to talk about it... then?"
"I'm sorry? Talk about what?"
"About your temporary insanity this morning, when you practically threw yourself at Nance?"
Your ears perk up, Dustin's words slicing through the haze of sleep still clouding you mind as you lie curled up in the backseat of Steve's car, though your eyes remain firmly closed.
"I- wha- that is not what happened," Steve says immediately, indignant defensiveness flooding his tone.
"It kinda is, buddy, there were a... lot of witnesses..." There's a pause, and you realize they're probably looking at you. You only hope your features mimic those of a sleeping person's, trying to school your breathing slow and even.
"I- I have a girlfriend, man, are you- are you implying that I still have a thing for Nance?"
Any person who doesn't know Steve inside out would probably think he sounds genuine enough as he says that, the disbelief in his voice at Dustin's implication convincing enough on the surface.
But not for you. You can tell there's something else he's thinking, something he's not brave enough to voice, or even acknowledge, perhaps. The thought makes you feel sick.
Dustin seems to realize the same thing.
"You know I'm only saying this because I know you have a girlfriend, Steve..." he says slowly. "She doesn't deserve this-"
"I- Henderson... I love her! I- You know that. You know I wouldn't do that to her, right? You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt her."
The hint of desperation in Steve's voice as he wills Dustin to believe him, to believe that he loves you, makes your heart clench. Your chest constricts in sorrow, squeezing your lungs till you feel you can't breathe normally anymore.
Because not only is he trying to make Dustin believe him, it sounds like he's trying to convince himself too.
You love him too. Achingly, disgustingly much. And you're not sure you could stop even if you wanted to.
Dustin stays quiet after that. And you think to yourself how this is probably the first time you've ever seen the kid have nothing to say.
A/N: Let me know if you'd like a Part 2, and a gentle reminder that likes, reblogs and comments make me realllllly reallly happy
If you're reading this on 12th December, WISH ME, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!
Update: Part 2 is out now!
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