*head desks*

hiccup: my leg's stuck again *breaks down, laughing*

.....

hiccup: *tries to lift ice off of 'dead' stoick* im sorry i cant do it this thing is just too thordamn heavy. can someone give me a hand here?

drago: here! *unclips arm and throws it to hiccup*

stoick: *continually tries not to while laugh playing dead*

.....

Astrid: stormfly, drop it!

eret: *gasps and falls*

astrid: good girl! stormfly, fetch!

stormfly: *doesn't manage to catch eret*

*muffled swearing from deblois*

.....

drago: or tear them apart *tries to unclip his arm*

drago: it's stuck, can i get some help here?

.....

hiccup: *fires arrow at stoick's ship*

hiccup: *misses and throws bow down* honestly i canNOT shoot this odindamn ship! i cant do it under so much pressure, if we're not careful it'll be too far away and then we'll have to haul it back in... again!

someone in the distance: i told you we should've gotten merida on

.....

hiccup: did you train help train smaug?

valka: what?

hiccup: well you've been working on the hobbit haven't you?

.....

stoick: *reaches out to touch valka's face and pokes her in the eye*

.....

*finishes filming the scene where stoick died and just before the funeral*

deblois: ok and cut!

*everyone leaves the set except stoick who is lying on the ground*

stoick: *starts snoring*

.....

hiccup: dragon master

drago: who?

hiccup: dragon master, legendary trainer, known throughout the archipelago?

deblois: cut! hiccup! this isn't guardians of the galaxy!

......

valka: i am your mother

deblois: ok, it's too much like star wars, we need a new line

.....

hiccup: dragons and vikings! enemies again!

toothless: *collapses onto hiccup and knocks him out*

.....

stoick: *doesn't make it in time to save hiccup*

*muffled cursing from deblois*

.....

*dragons knock hiccup and astrid over*

Hiccup: arent you going to get up?

astrid: nope

....

*dragons knock hiccup and astrid over*

astrid: *gets up* hiccup?

astrid: *kicks him gently* guys! he's knocked out again!

astrid: *walks away to get her axe and comes back, and drops it on hiccups stomach*

hiccup: *awgh!* why would you do that?

.....

hiccup: *jumps from hookfang's grasp and glides towards erets ship*

hiccup: *misses and falls into ocean*

....

gobber: this was why i was never married, this and one other reason, i'm as gay as a diamond studded rainbow

gobber: *prances off on the back of grump who is mysteriously dressed like a unicorn*

hiccup: that was the best thing i've ever seen

....

*fog clears and reveals sea stack right in front of a flying hiccup*

hiccup: oh not amazing! toothless!

toothless: *cant fly fast enough because of locked up tail*

hiccup: *smashes into sea stack*

....

astrid: how do we find drago? are we tracking eret down and getting him to lead us?

hiccup: nope! i heard he has a metal left arm so... *pulls out metal detector*

astrid: ...

hiccup: yeah, i set it specifically to find metal left arms

*hiccup and astrid find bucky instead of drago*

hiccup: well he's got a few scars and is wearing some kind of leather... ATTACK

.....