7 Things You Need To Stop Doing If You Are Dealing With Infertility
Stop feeling sorry for yourself
Thereâs a lot of pressure these days to âhave it allâ- we are expected to be successful, happy, healthy, accomplished women who can handle everything on our plates.
And while I am 100% me (not someone else), there are still times when I feel like I should just give up and let someone else take over.
That is until I remember what my life was before infertility took over. Before I had kids, I wanted kids. Very deeply. And every time I would hear about another woman or family with children talking about their issues, struggles, and joys, I felt myself getting more and more disconnected from those feelings.
I didnât have the pain that they were going through, so how could I possibly understand them?
But people need to know that itâs okay to experience grief, sadness, anxiety, and anger. Itâs normal to feel all of those things, and you arenât being strong if you donât address them.
This is something that I have really had to work on over the past few years. For as long as I can remember, my biggest strength has been how well I handle negative situations. However, in recent years, I have found that I am not so good at handling people who are trying to blame me or someone else for their problems.
I used to be much more patient than I am now when someone tries to pass judgment on me by saying things like âItâs your fault,â or âYou shouldnât have got pregnant if you were never going to keep it.â Now, I get very angry and frustrated when I hear these kinds of comments from people.
I was raised with two parents and a family system that values keeping everyone close together. By having other people help take care of you, you are considered weak and do not deserve love and happiness.
This is why this type of thinking always puts a damper on my life. It makes me feel bad about myself and causes me stress. I have learned to protect myself by not letting anyone say such hurtful things.
However, what I realized is that there are some people out there who just wonât let go of the negativity. They want to continue to dwell on the fact that they canât have children instead of focusing on the many other reasons why they might not have kids.
We all have our own issues
Stop holding your partner responsible
If you are dealing with infertility, then especially in the early stages, your partners may find things they do that hurt or make them feel worse. They might say something mean, or give up on having children as well.
You need to remember that everyone is different when it comes to being married. Both people have to work at their marriage and respect for each other.
If someone has been hurting one another, please get help from a counselor or doctor before anything else. Do not keep putting off what needs to be done.
Stop spending money you don't have
Even though dealing with infertility is difficult, you should not be forced to make large purchases such as furniture or cars. You also shouldn't be making other significant financial commitments (such as loans or credit cards) without first determining whether or not they are necessary.
If you do decide to spend money, set a budget that allows for flexibility while still being affordable. It may help you avoid excessive spending by learning how much you need to spend.
Stop talking about your problems
Even though you may feel like others understand you or what you are going through, it is not the same as having the problem yourself. Your friends and family members are not experiencing the physical pain of infertility nor the emotional distress of hearing about your struggles. They can sometimes give in to the temptation to talk about your situation either directly or indirectly by asking questions.
They might ask how far along you were when you found out you were pregnant, whether you planned to have children, or why you havenât started a family yet.
Avoid direct conversations unless you know for sure that someone has been through fertility treatment and is currently trying to conceive. Chances are they already have a sense of sadness or disappointment about not being able to have kids themselves.
If you do find out about them wanting to have children, there are ways you can express sympathy without putting them into an uncomfortable conversation.
Ask about their plans regarding children (if they have any), but donât make this a topic of discussion until later. Once you get a sense of what they want from life, you can move onto discussing your own thoughts around children.
Stop focusing on your health
If you are dealing with infertility, it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You may feel focused and motivated, but donât ignore your overall health.
Your health is an important factor in how well you deal with infertile. Certain medications can cause low fertility, as can certain foods.
You may have other medical conditions that could affect your ability to conceive, without you knowing about it.
If you are taking any medicines, including over-the-counter drugs, make sure they do not interfere with your pregnancy or baby development.
Put yourself first. Deal with any issues you might have before expecting anything from your partner or trying children.
If you are dealing with infertility, then it is very likely that your weight is an issue for you. Perhaps you have normal or even high-normal BMI, but you feel too tired and donât want to eat healthy.
You may also be tempted to skip meals so you can grab snacks such as chips and dip or sweets like ice cream.
This adds up quickly over time â both in how much energy you have and what kind of changes you might need to make to your diet. It can also add up cost-wise by making you spend more money on food when you could probably afford to eat cheaper foods.
Diets donât work long term. People keep telling you this, but have you ever heard of âyo-yoâ diets? Well, theyâre those quick fixes that take away your nutrition intake while still expecting you to lose weight.
Do yourself a favor and stop trying to figure out which diets we are talking about here. Instead, just avoid them. Sticking to our original plan here at Eat More Food will help us stay nourished and fit enough to deal with any medical issues that may arise.
Stop buying into the fake news that starving yourself is good for your health. We know that past studies show that limited nutritional options during early stages of development can lead to longer-term risks for your children.
It can also negatively affect your ability to manage your
Yoga is one of many things you can do that doesnât cost any money. Itâs easy and requires little time or effort.
Yoga has been used for centuries to improve health and wellness. Itâs also widely known as a way to bring peace and tranquility to your life.
Most yogis choose to perform a pose called savasana, which is a seated position with legs stretched out in front of you. Savasana is a sacred space within a yoga session where you can relax your body and mind.
Savasana is characterized by a low blood pressure and reduced stress level. It is also a place where you can let your thoughts wander without being distracted.
Another benefit of savasana is improving sleep. By doing this pose everyday, you will have better quality sleep. This may help you feel more rested and relaxed and thus reduce the burden of stress from infertility.
When you go out with friends or family, it can be difficult to separate yourself from everyone else. However, you need to make an effort to get away so that you can have some time to relax and forget your problems for a while.
It can be very hard to go out and have a good time when youâre not feeling well because of all the stress. Going out can help you feel better physically but it also helps you mentally.
If you are dealing with infertility, going out is one of the best ways to keep yourself busy. Even if you donât like to go out, someone else will give your mind something fun to think about.
The more people who know how much pain you are in, the less private your life becomes. Your friends and family may try to help you, which can put even more stress on you. By getting outside of the house, you let your hair down.
You should still deal with them as a person, but now they arenât the only person you can talk to. Another option isnât just thinking about everything inside the house; you can actually go somewhere and play.
That way you and another person (or several people) can take care of each otherâs needs, and yours, too. It also gives you a reason to connect with others beyond saying âhelloâ and "good night".