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So i first got the idea when i was doing some deep dive research into bisexual culture in the 19th century for my 21 page gay vampires history final paper (don’t ask lol). And it turns out that dual wielding blades is slang in Japan for bisexual. There are two different words for it but one of them, nitoryu (which admittedly from what i could glean is the less common one in terms of bi slang, but still!) is the one zoro uses to refer to his two-sword style. So then i was like “what sort of elevated plane must a triple wielding bisexual have reached?” And my pansexual sister went “may i suggest pansexuality?” And now i can’t stop thinking about it. Little kid zoro asks kuina about some couple he sees and she’s like “well they are romantic partners which means they care about each other the most and can trust each other to have each other’s backs in a fight. And also there’s kissing i guess. I don’t know.” And little zoro is like hmm okay ig. And then he does not think about it again, like, at all, until forever later when he’s a bounty hunter. He sees two people kissing or something and he’s like “oh yeah. Romance. Forgot that existed.” And then he basically decides that romance is someone who can always match you in a fight, but because zoro’s gonna be the best and also can’t yet conceptualize fighting that doesn’t involve swords he’s like ig I won’t have romance since no one will be able to match me sword fighting. And then he stops thinking about it again. Until he meets sanji. And sanji can match him in a fight, no problem, but also isn’t someone zoro has to get better than to become the greatesf swordsman. Sanji has his back in a fight. He cares a lot about sanji. Sounds awesome. Perfect romanic partner for him. But sanji also, kinda…pisses him off to no end. Because the guy has somehow got the idea in his head that only women and men can be romantic together, and zoro has literally never heard of this idea before and it makes no sense, and he can’t understand why the cook thinks it or why no one else finds it weird. He seriously cannot conceptualize what the hell mental gymnastics sanji is doing in his head to perceive the world so strangely and so differently from how it actually is. Where the heck does the cook get the idea that women are the complete opposite of men and are weak and in need of protection?? Instead how they really are: human, ultimately, just one way to be and capable of everything that men are. But zoro is kinda bad at articulating his thoughts so all this comes out more like “oi shit-cook, why are you acting so stupid?” And then sanji gets mad and they fight. But yeah pansexual zoro who does not give a shit what a person looks like as long as they can match him in a fight. I feel like it fits really well with his backstory/character.

Okay so then i got thinking about sanji, and here’s the thing. The way he treats women in canon really bothers me, and it comes off as so performative and definitely gives Learned Behavior. So i was thinking where he might have learned it. And here’s my theory. Sanji loves to feel helpful and wanted. So when he starts working on the Baratie he acts so gentlemanly and polite and doting to everyone. And a lot of fragile little man egos on the staff and among the guests can’t handle it and he gets hit a lot, and zeff of course kicks everyone who does that off the boat, but still it’s gonna stick with such a traumatized kid. And so he gradually focuses his attention on the women who will coo over this cute little kid trying so hard to be all suave and mature. And it feels nice to him to be told positive things like he never got before in germa. After feeling useless his whole life, being complimented feels so nice that he starts getting a little desperate for it. And I can’t imagine that every single cook and guest on the baratie would have fantastic views on gender, or that zeff would have the time and vocabulary to sit him down and explain how he was slowly drifting into the realm of misogyny and why that was bad. So he probably picked up a lot of stupid ideas about how men should act around women and what women wanted, and there were no women working on the baratie to explain things to him or provide a counter example. And he starts fearing being perceived as weak as well so being vulnerable around men becomes something he avoids, because he is exposed to all this macho, toxic masculinity bs, and no one is explaining that it’s wrong to him. And then puberty hits and suddenly he’s getting teased by all the cooks who perceive his doting on women as trying to get in their pants. And he internalizes that as “this is how im supposed to act” and so he starts being performative about it, and it’s encouraged so it only gets worse. Especially because he’s so terrified of being vulnerable, that when he begins to experience his gay awakening he shoves it down as far as it can go and starts putting more emphasis onto how “obviously heterosexual” he is. And then he meets zoro, who is every thing he wants to be without even trying. He’s masculine and strong and respected and doesn’t need to perform like sanji does to be perceived as any of those things. And sanji also finds him really, really attractive, as terrified as he is to admit it, so he constantly gets angry at the guy and picks fights on purpose to avoid confronting his own feelings. So yeah gay sanji, cause i really just can’t read his wierd heart eyes routine around women as anything but a performance for heteronormativity. Someone put that man in therapy.