Probably in your kink DNI

Or have him fuck the shit out of me… I’m not picky.

Everyone loves rootbeer (the possum)

develop patricidal tendencies instead of suicidal tendencies. much healthier. according to professionals. probably. basically, never kys when you can blame your dad instead and tell him to

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

elf liberalism probably goes insane

"elf liberalism is basically the same as gnome fascism" - phrase that has been echoing in my head for the past 30 minutes

What the fuck does this mean?

its not my job to educate you

you're wearing the muzzle because you're a stupid needy puppy who needs to be punished for putting its mouth on everything. i'm wearing the muzzle as a constant reminder of how dangerous i am, a show of goodwill, and so i don't break my new toy too quickly