the elusive chicken nugget

sure I could become a slut. but you see, I'm scared

you are a curse sent from the devil himself to mock mortals.

just gonna say it, squidward was right about everything

look spongebob is a terrible neighbor and an exhausting person. no one should have to suffer patrick star's lifelong dedication to ignorance & imperviousness to logic. put them in the same room and that's an automatic noise ordinance infraction (plus inevitably public property damage). they are lowkey domestic terrorists. squidward is a grump and a snob but at the end of the day he's a burntnout service worker with a shitty boss who just wants some peace and quiet during his downtime. he asks for so little honestly. all the other characters should be in jail

i have a rare form of synesthesia where i can hear music

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

Reblog to cast.

Microsoft purchased France, and changed its motto to "Liberté, Égalité, Fenêtres."

Microsoft purchased France, and changed its motto to "Liberté, Égalité, Fenêtres."

i hate people who know highways. “i’m heading south on I-65” okay man. i’m moving my rook to c2