welcum x

dont EVER call ur date honey in front of bees, they do NOT understand the concept of nicknames and will viciously attack your girlfriend in hope of getting back what was taken from them

being gay before the invention of lube must have been a pain in the ass

according to my history professor this is actually a huge contributing factor to the popularity of olive oil in Ancient Greece

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PHOTOS OF MICHAEL WITH FUCKING RANDOM PLANTS AND VEGETABLES AND SHIT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT MAN

really tho straight guys will go on and on about how uncomfortable it makes them when gay guys hit on them but lets be fucking honest how many times have u seen a guy continue to hit on another guy after hes visibly uncomfortable vs. how many times a straight guy has continued to hit on a girl after shes visibly uncomfortable 

very secret dog meeting

the spell can only be broken by true love’s high-five

im so annoying kiss me

We’ve all had that awkward moment where we accidentally touched our friend’s boob

sext: I bought you concert tickets

sorry for replying in  0.2 seconds haha its not like i was waiting hahaha