below are random starters taken from/inspired by the novel Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.
โShould I remove my soul before I come inside?โ
โPlease donโt eat anything in that area.โ
โHe is the kind of guy who carries himself like he gets laid a lot, a guy who likes women, a guy who would actually fuck me properly.โ
โI would like to be fucked properly.โ
โI sound quite slutty, donโt I?โ
โYou look all twitchy.โ
โThereโs no romantic present for wood.โ
โGo home, fuck her brains out, then smack her with your penis and scream, โThereโs some wood for you, bitch.โโ
โThe cat was sweet, but extremely stupid.โ
โWell you certainly take your time about it, donโt you?โ
โSo how likely is it Iโll meet someone I love, much less someone I love enough to marry?โ
โ'Heโs doing what you tell him to do because he doesnโt care enough to argue,โ I think. โYour petty demands simply make him feel superior, or resentful, and someday he will fuck his pretty, young coworker who asks nothing of him, and you will actually be shocked.โโ
โLet me guess: baby of the family.โ
โI am fat with love!โ
โNeither of us gets stage fright.โ
โThis is how I always pictured it. This is exactly how I pictured it.โ
โI sometimes bring my coffee and the paper and just sit.โ
โYouโre a planner, arenโt you? You donโt seem like the type to wing anything.โ
โWe call them the โdancing monkeysโ.โ
โI am content with letting him be himself.โ
โI wanted to play it cool, but then I started crying.โ
โPlease donโt lay a guilt trip on me on top of it.โ
โNot according to the prenup.โ
โI canโt even figure out if I should be angry.โ
โMy dad isnโt someone I like to talk about that much.โ
โI feel like something is going wrong, very wrong, and that it will get even worse.โ
โI donโt feel like a person at all : I am something to be loaded and unloaded, like a sofa or a cuckoo clock.โ
โI donโt feel real anymore.โ
โI still say itโs the river.โ
โPicture me: Iโm crazy about you.โ
โWow your parents must really hate me.โ
I โHope you like canned soup.โ
โIf there was ever a time for assisted sleepโฆโ
โJust got to keep on keeping on.โ
โIโm making the best of a really bad situation.โ
โHe/She seemed to have lost all interest in both me and said ailing parents.โ
โBaby, why the fuck havenโt you called me?โ
โI need to feel your hands on me, thatโs all Iโve been thinking about.โ
โCome up with me. I want to be with you.โ
โSometimes, I look at myself and I think : No wonder why people around you find you ridiculous, frivolous, and spoiled.โ
โNo itโs not that, truly. Iโve never given blood. My doctor gets angry at me because I canโt even handle a yearly blood test for, like, cholesterol.โ
โYouโre a cheater!โ
โIt would be funnier if our sex life were as carefree as the rhyme would suggest. But last week we didโฆ fuck? Something more romantic than have sex but less cheesy than make love.โ
โI canโt help but wonder, whatโs the catch?โ
โYou were in a screaming argument about a cat box.โ
โHe uses me for sex when he needs to.โ
โQuiz: Your husband, with whom you shared a wonderful sex life, has turned distant and cold โ he only wants sex his way, on his time. What do you do?โ
โIโve been indulging in toddler therapy.โ
โWell, now might be the right time. To start a family. Try to get pregnant.โ
โI m cracking under the pressure. I will snap.โ
โI didnโt realize until I was almost there that it was Valentineโs Day. It was Valentineโs day and I was going to buy a gun and then cook my spouse dinner.โ
โI just would feel safer with a gun.โ
โI donโt know what would be good luck : plus sign or minus sign.โ
โThis man might kill me.โ
โPicture me : Iโm a girl who is very bad. I need to be punished, and by punished, I mean HAD.โ
โIโve told you, Iโve told you so many times!โ
โTo start: I should never have been born.โ
โIs she still alive?โ
โI was the girl/boy who battled oblivion and won.โ
โI ruined my motherโs womb in the process.โ
โIโve always been better than the rest of them. I was the one who made it.โ
โThey get to be perfect without even trying, without even facing one moment of existence, while I am here on earth, and everyday I must try, and every day is a chance to be less than perfect.โ
โThatโs because you loved a person who didnโt really exist.โ
โBeing the Cool Girl means you are a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes, and anal sex.โ
โMen actually think that girl exists.โ
โThe Cool Girls are even more pathetic. Theyโre not pretending to be the woman they want to be, theyโre pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be.โ
โItโs tempting to be the girl every guy wants.โ
โThey never taught me how to be happy.โ
โI would always try to figure out why this is fun.โ
โIf you let a man cancel plans or decline to do things for you, you lose.โ