THE TRUTH

Time and time I've tried to tell you that when it comes to everything accept emotions you are the best partner but when it comes to the emotional stuff you are literally the worst partner ever, for months upon months I've tried to tell you what I need and you've always found it stupid or you do what you think makes me happy and not what actually makes me happy. I quit its been a year of emotional hell I spent years being alone trying to escape only to walk right into you thinking that your home was safe and it wasnt. I am constantly going from one battlefield to another and I'm worn out. I can't take it anymore I quit I'm done. Walls up and no more effort on my end so you continue to do what you want, go ahead and look at every girl who walks by or all the girls you follow on Instagram and Facebook so ahead and continue to care more about masturbating than our own intimacy. Go ahead and continue to tell me how my face is ugly and how I'm too skinny but just remember my face is ugly because you've made me believe my face is ugly so how can I shine and smile.. Remember I'm so skinny because you stress me out to the point where I don't wanna eat especially not with you or in your home where I am most unsafe and not welcome. I am tired, I literally can handle no more. I literally have nothing left in my small body and the weak heart. You've taken me and used me up and put me right back to who I was 4 years ago when I decided that a drink was worth more than being alive. Why is it so hard for you to love me? To remember me? To actually talk to me to make a fucking real effort besides telling me how much traffic you sit in so "we can be together" what's the point in being together when you don't have to feel how I feel everyday you fucking dick bag. I've loved you for over a year now in the most hellish war zone I've ever been in and I thought the last one was the worst but I'd rather him slap me and punch me a thousand more times than have to deal with what I'm dealing with right now. There is noting so cruel as a man who pretends to love you but hasn't has a single word or action prove it.