here for the shits and gigs

do not try contacting me i have blocked you on my crystal ball

we are NOT bringing 4chan incel terminology to this site, take that "foid" out of your post and go wash your blog out with soap

the memeification of fascism is a proven method of perpetuating and instilling it in other people. Layers of irony will not protect you once you adopt racist, sexist, ableist, transphobic terminology into your lexicon. you'll be acknowledging and nursing the mindsets and connotations borne of those words.

official linguistics post

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

actually sex is when you have to kill the only person in the world who ever understood you and then you go to their apartment and stand in the same spot they did and look out their window at the same view they saw trying to grasp at one last shred of connection now that they're gone all while thinking about how if you had to do it over you'd kill them again because that's how it was always going to end

Light Yagami wrote this

sorry boss i can't concentrate on work today i have a fanfic idea tumbling around my head like a gigantic beast desperate to be written and all i can think about is getting these characters to fall in love with each other you get how it is

Handing the Google executive currently chained in my basement a piece of paper that reads "Shall I end your torture?" with one checkbox that reads "No" and another that reads "Maybe later."

tubi is one of our greatest warriors in the fight against streaming services costing a fortune for mediocre content. tubi has the most insane collection of movies you will ever encounter all for free. it has cult classics and questionable lifetime movies and movies that nobody except like three people on the planet have ever seen. tubi has movies that doesn’t exist. like if you just thought of a movie one day but never made it and no one ever made it it would somehow still exist on tubi. one day i will log onto tubitv dot com and i will see terribly inappropriate, overly complex, and strange on there. and i won’t even be surprised.

wait this wasn’t a “poob has it for you” bit?

tubi doesnt have what youre looking for but it does have a lot of things you would never have thought to

today i learned that the finnish word for ‘hazardous waste’ is ongelmajäte, which can also translate as ‘problematic garbage’ and my roommate and i immediately agreed this is a word that belongs on tumblr.

Your fave is ongelmajäte

in german it’s Sondermüll which means special trash and that too belongs on tumblr

One man’s ongelmajäte is another man’s sondermüll.

Does the “I’m gonna get a good grade in” person know the impact they’ve had. Do they know they did in fact got a good grade in post, something that’s both normal to want and possible to achieve,

it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”

even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”

It’s been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyone’s left to it.

Video game boss that's all bellowing bravado and big untargeted fuck-your-life attacks that hit half the arena, then for phase two they're like "hold up'' and put on a pair of ridiculously tiny glasses, and suddenly they're ten times as dangerous because now they can actually see what they're aiming at.

@poison-tipped-nerf-dart

Someone is eating a fresh orange in this McDonald's. I smelled it and my head snapped up like a hunting dog. That smell doesn't belong in this wicked place