The Labyrinth is Interested

A few days ago, I purposely did an interview because I felt it would made me happy. My mother didn’t know I was Bi. These are what she has to say: 

I'm watching ur kumustahin and I was so disappointed with u. Iyan ba ang pinagmamalaki mo sa amin na buong mundo pinanood king sino ka. Sino ba yong partner mo na. Nahihirap kami rito para maibigay namin ang kailangan mo tapos yon lang ang mapapanood ko.

Hindi ka man lang nag isip na masasaktan kami na ganyan ka.

Anong na naman sige ikaw ang lumugar sa akin, matutuwa ka ba na yong anak ay pinagkakalandakan nita na ang partner niya ay isang kapwa niya lalake.

Hindi ko akalain na magagawa mo sa amin yon inspite everything that were doing for u to become a good son.

Ang pinangarap namin sa iyo ay magkaroon ka ng isang pamilya na gagabay as iyo pagtanda namin hindi siya. Wala kang mapapala sa ganyan relation.

-end-

PS. All of these were said to me. during the live interview. so yeah. these words are still in my mind after -ish days. welp. dunno what to do. dunno what to say. so yeah.

one of my questions is: Why is it always about the parents’ dream, the parents’ want? why isn’t it always not considerate with what could make us happy? “hindi ka manlang nagisip na masasaktan kami na ganyan ka” okay so ako pala? sa sinasabi ninyo? di din kaya ako nasasaktan na I feel so alone and the first people to accept me supposedly, despises me. i felt so alone in the closet, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA who would’ve thought i would feel so more alone coming out.