haha funny cat

shiki tohno:

> wow i sure do have a mysterious illness and magical eyes that let me perceive the concept of death itself

also shiki tohno 15 minutes later:

> i should cut this woman into 17 pieces

and then arcueid shows up the next morning perfectly fine like:

> hey that was kinda fucked up. anyway wanna go vampire hunting

meanwhile the city is being terrorized by vlov arkhangel, a man whose whole aesthetic is:

> what if seasonal depression became a blizzard

ciel initially appears to just be a nice upperclassman and then the game slowly reveals she is:

immortal

a church executioner

carrying enough weapons to annex a small european nation

violently repressing approximately 400 years of trauma

and THEN there’s noel.

poor fucking noel.

type-moon introduces her like:

> omg quirky teacher character :)

and then spends the next 20 hours going:

> what if we ruined her life repeatedly for sport

every single character in this game has at least 12 secrets and 9 mental illnesses minimum.

every route eventually becomes:

philosophical discourse about death

homoerotic vampire violence

existential suffering

shiki collapsing in an alleyway

someone screaming and crying in a cathedral

emotional devastation beyond human comprehension

and the best part is that after all this horrifying supernatural carnage the game still expects you to care about:

> midterms