Anxiety of the Unknown

"I will not water myself down to make me more digestible.

Try to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.

I genuinely broke down crying earlier because I feel like I carry so much shit on my shoulders. I always try to be the positive one all the time but I feel like people are never there when I need them. For once I want to feel like I am valid and enough. I want to feel like people actually care about me and not just when they want to talk to me on their timetable. I want to feel like I am not always going to be used all the time. I want to feel like I am valued. But it seems like I never will be. I am never going to be anyone's "best friend". I am always going to be the plain ordinary person no one gives a crap about. I am never going to be beautiful enough. I am never going to be attractive enough. I am never going to be smart or talented enough.