parent: wowww uncalled for?? how did I raise such a rude child why are you always on the defence

a group of girls going out: okay ladies remember we're going in in formation B so we don't lose sight of one another, but if there's any trouble we decided on secret hand gesture alpha-6. don't accept drinks from anybody, we just can't risk it tonight. stacey, did you print out the blueprints of the frat house? oh i see you color coded it so we know which areas have the highest population density and which rooms are well lit, excellent. marie i need that report on incidents of date rape from the last five years. thanks. alright, i think we're all set then. remember the buddy system. let's have a wild night ladies, but stay safe.

Me: Oh cool! How much do you cry???