a Random Metal Container

As a kid, I wasn’t allowed to touch the hot stove with my bare hands. But now I get to do it whenever I want

when you show up to the met gala you should immediately be faced with a panel of fashion experts and art historians before you even get to the red carpet and you have to explain your outfit choice and why it is on theme for that year’s event like you are defending a phd and if you can’t produce a coherent defence they turn you away at the door and the people of manhattan are allowed and encouraged to throw rotten produce at you as you get back into your car in shame

I just learned about the existance of “pretend to work” spaces in China where you can pay to pretend to work at a realistic looking fake office so that you can take selfies to pretend that you have a job and get your family to stop asking why you’re unemployed. Which is like such a capitalism thing that I have no joke to make about it.

brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man

bro your whimsy. you forgot your fucking whimsy. your solemn and somber attitude is scaring the hoes

actually fucking disgusting that glasses cost any money like if you actually think about it for more than a few seconds it is so unconscionably inhumane. this goes for things like insulin and mobility aids and hearing aids too ofc but fuck man, fucking glasses? the thing you need to fucking see? its genuinely sickening and inhumanly evil that those cost ANYTHING.

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.