pathetic

wondering what she has that i dont.

but it wasnt what she had,

it was what she could do.

because whilst you ignored me,

to shed so many tears,

and spend so many sleepless nights,

over one

singular

i pray to god its you.

hoping that you’ve text to beg for me back,

tell me you’re missing me,

that you shouldve never left in the first place.

even a simple hello would suffice,

than go through the pain of watching you move on,

watch you not care about my existence,

whether its in a relationship or a friendship,

that cares a little bit more and a little too much.

unfortunately ive learnt that im that person,

and its painful to know that your love and care is unrequited.

you give too much,

your whole self,

to receive a small fraction back.

to nothing.

cherishing your very existence,

to barely remembering your name.

writing love letters and whispering sweet ‘i love you’s,

to silence.

and through it all,

has and will always be the most shattering feeling.

im still not over when you broke my heart,

im not ready to undergo the same pain.

not again

i hated you.

even months, nearly a year later and i still hate you for how you picked me up and put me down.

but one thing you were always good at was caring,

always being there when i needed you most,

something he isn’t capable of.

because tonight, for the first time in a long time,

i broke,