"Niall opens his eyes, a big beaming smile on his face, as he expects to be met with a laughing Ruben" and he was!
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"Niall opens his eyes, a big beaming smile on his face, as he expects to be met with a laughing Ruben" and he was!

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sending someone a business email that says hello iβve been writing a story about a guy getting abused and assaulted and humiliated and degraded and i was thinking about you the whole time. and the recipient of that email being like awesome. i want you to do it with your bare hands
thank u mitchell π«Άπ»
despite rgadd not wanting half man to be a straightforward victim narrative thats kind of how the story ended up reading to me anyway. which is not a bad thing imo its just interesting. like throughout the show he clearly wanted to create this looming sense that niall mustve done something truly heinous to deserve ruben coming for him like revenge personified (the ominous "he knows what he wants and he takes it" before we find out what it is he took etc) but even with the full picture revealed i feel like nothing niall did ever came within light years of the kind of physical, verbal, and sexual violence ruben inflicted on the people around him, niall most of all. the fact that niall stole and lied and was addicted to drugs and sex and said yes to fatherhood for all the wrong reasons and acted like a selfish dick and kept returning to ruben despite everything and kept loving him and hating him and wanting to hurt him back β to me none of that really changed the fact that he was ultimately just a guy who fell in love with a controlling man when he was very young and was raped and murdered for it like so many women have before him. niall being a flawed person with the capacity to hurt people made him a more interesting protagonist but it did nothing to negate his status as ruben's victim in my mind
daily thinking about how ruben's stomach isn't flat and instead he has a slight soft round belly that sticks out under his shirts
I just think it's neat

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Half Man | BtS
Jamie Bell talking about reading the script for Half Man episode 6 first, Niall's downward spiral, and feelings for Ruben.
Hand in hand. Heart to heart. Forever and ever.
Half Man FYC panel
Richard Gadd being asked on the homoeroticism between Ruben and Niall (with captions and transcript added)
Many thanks to @we-are-all-in-the-gutter for original video here. π§‘
Transcript:
Interviewer: And I think that that is part of what makes the tension between them so electric and the love between them so electric is that it has this something else that feels really uncomfortable as part of this relationship. Was that something that was sort of like IN the script? Was that something that you found in, sort of, the process of making it together? And I'm curious for the other actors like how Richard kind of explained these dynamics or talked through these dynamics with you or how you understood them.
Richard: Yeah. Well, it was certainly intentional that their relationship existed on a kind of subliminal plane of kind of⦠Homoeroticism may be too strong a word. It is homoerotic for sure. I think really, like the show⦠in a lot of ways is two men struggling to articulate their love for one another and their love for themselves. And I think one of the biggest things they're repressing, apart from⦠along with their past and their own sense of identity and sexuality, is the profound, like, adoration for one another and profound love. And it veers into a very strange place for the both of them. And I think that sometimes like if we look back on all the relationships we've had in life and we think about the defining relationships we've had, it's not always the relationships we've had that are pure and beautiful and giving. The relationships we look back on are the ones that are fraught and complicated and you feel deeply for someone and you don't really know why. There are people, you know, that time in my life that I haven't spoken to in 10 years that years that I still⦠in there somewhere. And I don't really know why.
And these two people form a sort of primal bond where like the best psychiatrists in the world couldn't get to the heart of what they feel for one another. And I think it does veer into, certainly for Niall, a sort of sexual lust. And for Ruben, it's a sort of like a⦠something similar, but a need to sort of dominate this innocence, this kind of almost like⦠to envelop this man. So it certainly veers into like a primal place. But I think as human beings, like I think sometimes like my biggest issue with sometimes television and storytelling sometimes in general is that all the relationships are so clear and defined. You know human life and human behaviour is complicated. Even like the whole being here and the whole existence of life is so confusing. And I always try to bring that to the screen. I think that the most powerful relationships we have exist in the sphere of the unexplainable, and that's what I always try to get to with that. Ultimately their love for one another is⦠breaches a transcendental place that they're not even remotely capable of expressing.

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he was soooooo endeared he was soooooo enamoured he was sooooooooooooooooo in love here ππππ
me when I pick up on VIBES between my GAY brother and some fuck ass GUY who i immediately HATE for reasons we dont have to get into just now so I immediately have to shift into my COCK OUT power stance to establish DOMINANCE. just BECAUSE.
half man || niall kennedy + sexuality
CHARLIE DE MELO as Alby Safadi HALF MAN - Episode 6
Ruben saying: "death isn't so much about missing the person, but missing the relationship you could have had with them. And we could have been special.β and then Niall starts to cry. incredible directing choices were made

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Richard on Niall's death
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