remourse:
— his smile grew and softened all at once, hit with a rare pang of contentment when he tilted his chin in natalie’s direction. if more days were like this — if more moments could settle the anxious buzz of thoughts in his head ( sometimes growing so loud he could swear the hum rattled his teeth ), even just temporarily, then gus never would’ve questioned his choice to stick around their sad lil’ town. shitbirds and all, he sure as hell knew how to memorize & cling to a good thing. “am i nice enough to get a free slush off’a ya?” his brows wiggled and gus grinned, wishing there was a casual way to say: ‘ i’m very glad your six month disappearance was just a sabbatical. ’ his fingers curled in the grass, tugging & tearing at the blades which he promptly sprinkled over the brunette’s lounging form. “c’mon, i gotta stretch my legs at least– i’m getting an ass cramp.”
there’s this feeling that comes with coming back, this emptiness —— a hole that’s never going to be normal. natalie understands that, she can even accept it. what feels wrong, in it’s way, is the way people can’t seem to meet her gaze. as if they’re in on a story that’s just beyond her grasp. gus isn’t like that, she tells herself, not really. in fact, the mere actions he’s taking prove to her that he isn’t in that ballpark of unsettling glances and whispers of a trauma too volatile to express. ❛ i mean, i guess. ❜ she smirks, and the language that is intermingled subtly between friends is one she understands intimately. words don’t back as she talks to him; this has to be a good sign. a laugh, quick and light slips from her lips at the honesty of his words. she stands up, offering her own hand to him to help him. ❛ what, did you suddenly become an old man over the past six months? ❜
