me and the persistent phantom guilt that clings to my aura like wet laundry

people really think viscera isn't romantic. you don’t listen to your lover's heartbeat? try to hear the blood rushing through their veins? feel the beating of their pulse points against your lips when you kiss them? hearing the growl of their stomach? the rise and fall of their chest as they breathe? a room so quiet you can hear each time they blink? lame as hell. couldn't be me.

Thinking about how despite the fact that he doesn’t remember gemma mark s is LITERALLY born out of his love for her. Like he loved her so much he was CHOKING ON HER GHOST (!!!) and created a new version of himself who didn’t have to remember losing her. It’s a super fucked up subversion of loving someone to the point of creation; I love you so much I created a version of myself that never knew you. And he still feels it down there he just doesn’t know what it is!! What the fuck!!!

"if i was orpheus i would simply not turn around" yes you would. if you were orpheus and you loved eurydice, you would. to love someone is to turn around. to love someone is to look at them. whichever version of the myth — he hears her stumble, he can't hear her at all, he thinks he's been tricked — he turns around because he loves her. that's why it's a tragedy. because he loves her enough to save her. because he loves her so much he can't save her. because he will always, always turn around. "if i was orpheus i would simply —" you wouldn't be orpheus. you wouldn't be brave enough to walk into the underworld and save the person you love. be serious

he’s a passenger princess, he smokes constantly, he has an alternate persona named fucking Crash, he grew up isolated in Alaska, he can’t stop saying odd shit, he hallucinates while driving, he has synesthesia, his mattress is on the floor, he has a crucifix even though he’s not religious, he’s good at drawing, he might mow your lawn, he doesn’t sleep, he’s an alcoholic, he did a mandatory stint at a mental hospital, he’s haunted, he’s been shot three times, he’s been gutted, he a a bartender, he makes dolls out of beer cans, he’s a nihilist, he thinks the light’s winning

s1 is just. i love you grainy unfocused shots of cemeteries and foggy roads no one travels. i love you john’s journal as a bible. i love you sam driving the impala casually with dean sleeping in the passenger seat. i love you jessica moore and sarah blake and cassie robinson. i love you dark motels with neon signs and dusty libraries with huge lore books. i love you side character serving as a mirror to the winchesters. i love you cleaning guns and wounds and sharpening of knives and gas stations and flip phones and laptop stickers. i love you small towns where time stands still with something unknowable and hungry lurking in the shadows. i love you angry psychic kid sam and dean trying his best with a leather jacket too big for him. i love you looming presences of john and mary. i love you homemade and flawed equipment. i love you horror and tragedy and blood. i love you dramatic lighting and silhouettes. i love you folklore and local legends. i love you -

mary shelley writing about a monster rejected and abandoned by its creator and dedicating it to her own father i need to smoke a blunt with her i need to give her head

feeling like pure shit. i think i need to move out of the city in search for an ancient sleeping king, alongside my friends who feel like my family, whom i’d take anywhere with me, whose fates are so tightly intertwined with mine that our connections could withstand the test of time. maybe learn latin, research scottish folklore and historical magic, throw myself into the second chance that life gave me though i know i’m going to die this year anyway but i’ve been told not to waste it though i can’t remember who told me that hmm. yeah i’m in the mood for a little bit of all this tomfoolery and silliness.

[attempting to flirt] if i was stuck in a timeloop id desperately explain my situation to you every single reset

i love when a character is a ghost but in a tragic way instead of a scary way. i love when a character has been dead from the beginning but is still holding on to stay in the narrative. i love when a character could choose to resent the living but ends up loving them instead. i love when a character drives the story but isn’t quite there enough to be at the center of it. i love when the ghosts are the protectors instead of the ones causing the harm. i love when a character is at the heart of the story because depending on where you began it, no matter how you told it, the story is about the ghost who struggled to keep their humanity

oh yeah don’t mind me i’m just thinking about how blue and gansey are technically the main characters of this story but it’s still not entirely about them and how ronan isn’t the hero of this story but he is the hero of a story that branches off from it and how adam would’ve been the villain in a worse version of the story but he had too much loyalty to the narrative to let his friends go and how the story could never be about noah but it also could never be about anyone except for noah