Uncharted Thoughts

This post will never be written, it seems. I lost my draft, and it has been so long since I read this one so...

I admit, I am a big fangirl. And if you, dear readers, are also one, you probably encounter that moment when you fangirl something that you couldn't get enough of. That's my case with Wes and Liz after reading BTTM. Their characters and their story were written so well that after reading book 1 (BTTM) of this series, I wanted more. That's why I am thankful to Ms. Painter that she did all those stories (Better Than the Prom and Wes and Liz's College Road Trip) before the release of NLTM because it was just so agonizing to wait. I read BTTM in 2022 and waited for NLTM for almost 2 years. Imagine?!

BTTM and NLTM, especially BTTM, is so iconic to me because it captured that sweet, silly, sappy romance that a lot of Western authors seem to have forgotten how to write. I mean, if you look at most fiction these days focusing on romance, they lack that feelings ingredient. That neukkim, you know? That emotional connection between the characters. Wes and Liz’s connection was especially poignant because they were so well-developed as individuals. Their personalities are clear to the readers whereas some authors deprived their characters of being fully formed and focused mostly on the "romance" aspect. Wes and Liz, at least for me, felt like real individuals that I could root for. That’s what made them so relatable and lovable. I also appreciate that both Wes and Liz are such green flags .

BTTM was such a sweet and romantic read although, maybe it's a tad bit, as in tiny little bit, angsty in the last part. However, it was so good that I am actually kind of skeptical about translating it to a live action. I don't want a movie version of it to ruin the beauty of the original book. Wes and Liz in BTTM are like my book OTPs at par with Lucy Montgomery's Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe.

So very unfortunately, my heart really is not in the right place.

This is the state where I am now.

Obviously, I was not satisfied with the ending of November 9. That is why you are seeing this post. I have many reasons why I did not want it to end the way it ended in the book. And these reasons are of course purely mine and based on my own personal beliefs. So, you do not have to agree or disagree with these reasons. We are entitled to our own opinions, as long as it is within reasonable grounds.

Anyway, considering what has been written in the book, November 9 technically has an open-ended ending whereby the readers are left to imagine what happened next to the characters. However, a large portion of the last chapter before the final two “open-ended” statements of the narrative was generally leaning on a “happy ending.” And I do not agree on that larger portion of the last chapter.

Thus, without further ado, here are my reasons why I did not like November 9's ending:

SPOILER ALERT! Tread here no more if you do not enjoy reading spoilers.

1. Ben being the culprit of the fire that almost ruined Fallon's life undermines his genuineness

After finally learning that the fire that scarred Fallon and ruined her life in a way when she was 16 was caused by a thoughtless Ben in past, I cannot help but undermine Ben's love for Fallon. I cannot truly believe that Ben was genuine in all those times that they were together because at the back of my mind, there will always be this nagging thought that Ben's love for Fallon was motivated by guilt. And I fail to see why can't Fallon felt the same way as I do, especially with her history of broken self-esteem. The book clearly explains that even though Fallon was able to get over her shattered confidence, it still comes up to her at times. Thus with this kind of personality, I believe that even though reading the four chapters of Ben’s manuscript and his two letters gave clarity to Fallon about the complete picture of the situation, I do not believe that she would easily get over her mistrust towards Ben, and his feelings for her, and generally towards people and relationship. Thus, I don't buy the ending in the Last November 9 where they got back together.

2. Fallon's personality as I have read of her

Also, I believe that most women, if not all, are innately jealous whether they have an indomitable surety in a relationship or not. Thus with this idea, I cannot accept the ending where Fallon willingly accepts Ben who is playing a father in a little play called, the adorable family with Oliver and Jordyn (yes please read that with the sarcasm I intended it with), even if they're not together "together," you know what I mean. To prove this, I have taken some of Fallon's and Ben's words and thoughts in order to justify she is not someone who will agree on a complicated relationship such as the one Ben is offering. Anyway, laid out before you is Fallon's mind with regards to Ben's entanglement with Oliver and Jordyn.

"I'm not about to compete with a woman who is raising a child on her own, Ben. I won't be the one who took you from her when she's already been through too much. So don't worry, you don't have to make decisions. I just made it for you."—Fallon, Fourth November 9, Ben's Chapter

… I don't even want to be with anyone if there's even a remote possibility that there's a third party at play. Love should be between two people, and if it isn't, I'd rather bow out than take part in the race…—Fifth November 9, Fallon's Chapter

… I don’t know if I should let him back into my life so easily because the getting together part should be just as hard as the letting go…—Fifth November 9, Fallon's Chapter

"I feel awful, Ben. I feel like I took you away from your little boy."—Fallon, Fifth November 9, Ben's Chapter

Then taking Ben's words when he was trying to win back Fallon.

…I can feel the tensing of her hand in mine just at the mention of Jordyn's name. I hate that. I hate that it's always going to be in the back of her head, for the rest of our lives. Because whether she wants it or not, Jordyn is Oliver's mother and Oliver is like a son to me. They'll always be in my life, no matter what.—Fifth November 9, Ben's Chapter

"That by agreeing to love me back, you're taking on a huge responsibility. Because Oliver s going to be a part of my life forever. And I'm not talking like an uncle and a nephew, but like he's mine. Birthday parties and baseball games and…"—Ben, Fifth November 9, Ben's Chapter

Hence, given Fallon's personality (from what you have read above and from what you probably know about her, assuming you have read the book) and the situation Ben has presented to her, I don't think she would agree to this almost threesome or foursome relationship she would share with Ben, Oliver, and Jordyn. Thus, I cannot consent to the actual ending of November 9.

3. The glaring possibility that Ben and Fallon is bound to break up again

Okay, assuming that I agreed to the ending, there should be at least an epilogue to the story. Because what Fallon and Ben have in the Last November 9 was actually far from happy ending. As a reader, I kept thinking of possibilities that could happen between them in their reunion. If there were a book 2 to November 9, I believe the conflict in that book will be about Fallon questioning Ben's love for her. I mean Ben would be bound to make mistakes at some point in their relationship, whether it was deliberate or not. These mistakes (plural because I believe it will happen many times), are those kinds where Fallon would be neglected because of Ben's role in Oliver's life.  Another conflict that may rise is Jordyn. What if she suddenly realizes that she actually loves and wants Ben for herself that she would use Oliver to get him into their life? It could happen, really. Therefore, a breakup seems to be looming in Ben and Fallon's relationship unless they resolve these possible conflicts. And the only way to resolve this, I believe, is either Ben and Fallon break up or Ben limits his attachment to Oliver to an uncle-and-nephew relationship as it should be because he is not Oliver's father and taking that role would put him in a semi-husband relationship with Jordyn and would obviously dent his relationship with Fallon. Another way to solve the complication is to have Jordyn die in the story so that Ben could father Oliver all he wants without the awkward relationship it creates with Jordyn (given their history in between the 3rd and 4th November 9, smh, smh, smh) and, of course the unfair situation it puts Fallon in because she does not deserve to be second to Oliver. So, I do not assent at how November 9 ended.

4. Ben suffered less

I am not deprecating Ben's suffering after the third November 9. But technically speaking, he only suffered for more or less 2 months. The rest of the months before the 4th November 9 which is about 10 months, more or less, he was actually happy with his relationship with Oliver and Jordyn and was just confused because he and Fallon did not have a proper closure with their arrangement especially since their parting. Unlike Fallon though, she suffered more or less two years. Imagine, she was heartbroken to lie to Ben after the 3rd November 9. Then of course, when the 4th November 9 happened, she was even more brokenhearted. All that sorrow she went through, I deemed that even though she can  understand where Ben is coming from and can forgive him for what he did, I don't think it will be enough reasons for her to be in a relationship with him again. I think the healthier option for Fallon was to choose herself first which means to focus on her dream of building a talent school; to spend time with her parents since they have so much fallout especially with her father; and to get over Ben.

Why does Ben have to suffer more, you ask? Well, taking into account their roles in each other's life—Fallon was Ben's savior as he so pointed out in the book while Ben, although he was one the who brought back her confidence, was also the one person who almost wrecked her life in the first place. So if I were Ben, I think I would have more loyalty to my feelings for Fallon than any anguish I am going through and despite what she did or I think she did up until the point where I am sure it is the end with us. Similarly, if I were Fallon, I would expect him to understand my decision was for his sake because I know that he would do the same had the situation been reversed. That's why I could not believe that they would be together, or more specifically, that Fallon would go back to Ben during Last November 9.