living proof

I was 13 when Speak Now came out. At that time, I struggled with selective mutism, which is an anxiety disorder where I couldn’t speak in specific situations or to specific people, even though I was capable to. I had this disorder since I was a child, and I’d keep silent even at school or with some family members.

Speak Now was the album that really made me admire Taylor Swift. I already knew some of her older songs, but I didn’t consider myself a fan yet, and when Speak Now came out, I asked my mom to buy it for me so I could get to know her music more. And I fell in love with it, not only with the music, but with the fact that the whole album was written by her, the stories that were behind every song, the secret messages, everything. When I watched the DVD of the Speak Now Tour I got even more enchanted because she really knew how to put on a show and I’ve never seen anything like that before. I wished I could see her live one day.

Anyway, when I was in 8th grade, and had just turned 14, I had theatre class at school. But I wouldn’t speak or participate in the school plays. Even though I had managed to avoid any type of presentation before, this time the teacher said that I was obligated to. That made me extremely nervous, the day of the presentation was coming and I thought of many ways to just not go to class and dodge it, but I was afraid of getting a low grade and having to repeat the class next year. So I thought it was time to change. I’d be in high school the next year and I hadn’t spoken in front of my classmates for years, only to a small group of friends. I needed to overcome my anxiety. How many words unspoken had I already left behind in the last ten years?

So the night before the day of the presentation, I sat on my bed and opened the booklet of the Speak Now album and read the prologue. I cried a bit but those words inspired me to be strong and fearless for the next day.

“What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you’ll stutter and you’ll walk away embarrassed, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest.

So say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror. Say it in a letter you’ll never send or in a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of resounding voices saying “I could’ve, but it’s too late now”.

I don’t think you should wait, I think you should speak now.” - Taylor Swift

It was like those words were written for me to read at that moment. The next day, I did my part in the play (even though it was just a couple of lines, it was a big thing for me, since I’ve also been bullied for having this problem). And after that, I just didn’t care anymore. I took baby steps and started speaking more in class and when I least realized, I was a whole different person, more confident and my friends would tell me to shut up from talking so much. lol

That was a life changing moment and I’ll always remember how Speak Now literally helped me speak now. Taylor also inspired me to start writing about my feelings and I have many pages of texts, poems and phrases about boys I had fallen in love for. I wrote about love, about heartbreak, about anxiety, and so on…

Now I’m 22 *alexa play 22 by Taylor Swift* and since I live in Brazil, I never had the chance to see Taylor live. But this year she announced she’d be coming to São Paulo next year and I’ll finally be able to see her concert for the first time! It’ll be a dream come true and I hope one day I’ll be able to tell her this story. I’m just so grateful for her music and how it inspired me to overcome my problems. She’s the soundtrack to various moments of my life. So thank you, Taylor Swift. ♡

The lyrics don’t talk about one linear story but moments when those feelings are evoked

The first part introduces those feelings (sharing gloves, playing video games, passing notes)

The second part finds them again much later in the beginnings of love (the nerve to touch my hand which ties back to the gloves, twenty questions which ties back to video games, conversation which ties back to notes), this person stirs feelings just as pure and true as the ones found in the innocent discoveries of childhood

The change from snow to a clear light pink sky shows the change in time and both literal and metaphorical season

The third part realizes these feelings in true love (sidewalk chalk covered in snow and rice on the ground looks like snow)

True love brings back the whimsy and sweetness we thought could only be found in childhood :’)

I am a swiftie since I am 14 years old. I still remember when I listened a Taylor song and the feelings I had. Since then, I follow all the steps Taylor takes in her career, even though I'm far away from her. She has helped me to go through a lot of painful moments throughout my life, like in my teenage years when I didn't had so many friends or when I opened up about my sexuality to everyone. I always felt that you were my friend and your songs made me feel supported. It was like your compositions and your speeches could say that everything was going to be okay. So I wanted to thank you for writing your songs in such a personal and honest way. Songs which has not been only helpful for me as it has been to others. Taylor, please, never stop writing. I want you to know that my dream has always been seeing your concert live. When I heard the news about you coming to Brazil, I almost didn't believe that I am finally going to make my dream come true. I counted every second of my days to buy the tickets and make sure that everything is real. I'm going to travel more than two thousand miles from a small state in the Northwest of Brazil to São Paulo. I will literally cross the country and I'm 100% sure that everything is going to be worth it. @taylorswift, I love you so much, thank you for being with me in each important moment of my life, you can be sure I will always be grateful for all of this. Thank you for writing songs, thank you for being such a incredible person, thank you for coming to Brazil next year. See you on 07/18!

@taylorswift @taylornation @latin-swiftselfies