What's Your Damage

There’s a nip in the air. Cold won’t be good for my crops. Never is. 

someone: whats ur ringtone me, who has had their phone on vibrate since 2008: ???

you ever hoist a big laundry basket on your hip and feel like the great tragedy of your life is that you weren’t born a hearty peasant girl in medieval england who’d die at 22 from an abscessed tooth

imo the fact that people apparently relate to this points to some kind of weird cell memory of centuries of female labour that’s activated by extended pressure against the hipbone. im becoming an evolutionary psychologist it was wonderful knowing you all

Boy: let’s get naked                       Me: which palette?

*kidz bop voice* i never hugged wayne i never hugged drake, on my life man, pete’s sake

Most politicians fly coach but I get your point.

THE LAST ONE I AM LAUGHING

What do the bus drivers on field trips do while kids are on the field trip

my mom is a school bus driver and i can confirm