Grace Madison

Hello, Beansbi.

I thought my life couldn’t get worse before but I have been sorely mistaken before and I would not like to test the waters of fate any further.

Of course, transitioning could be a lovely prospect for those who wish to go down that path. While I do not intend to transition myself, I do think the prospect of changing into something new is appealing. I remember when i was a young boy I would have a dream where I would awaken at the bottom of the sea within the confines of a clam shell, trapped and frozen. I would have to crack through the exterior as if it were an egg shell, cutting my fingers on its edges. The blood would mix with the sea foam which accompanied me as we stumbled out of it in tandem. Once I’d escape, I would stare up at the sunlight, muddied as it was as far down as I was. I crawled up the sides of the reef, exasperating my wounds as I clawed through coral and shell and bone. None of that mattered in my feverish desire to reach the top. I never knew what was up there as I made my journey, only that it would be warm and comforting and full. The climb would take hours, bordering on eternity.

When I pierced through the water, I would be met with a world I had never seen before. One which would embrace me selfishly. It would acknowledge me as something beautiful, something meaningful, more than I ever could’ve been as a mere child. It only knew of saftey and softness. All worries I ever could’ve felt were nothing in its presence. Yet I only felt that relief for a moment before something either pushed me or weighed me down further into the water, back to that void of nothing, back to the hollowness of a life unlived and unloved. Where I would remain as I would suddenly awaken from my slumber.

Of course, I don’t have such silly dreams anymore but needless to say I can relate to the desire to become someone new and enter the world with a different point of view.

SO TODAY I'LL ONLY BE CURSING YOU GUYS A LITTLE BIT I GUESS

SO TODAY I'LL ONLY BE CURSING YOU GUYS A LITTLE BIT I GUESS

SO TODAY I'LL ONLY BE CURSING YOU GUYS A LITTLE BIT I GUESS