i doubt anyones gunna see this but. I just need to get some shit off my chest I guess. Haven't been doing great these last couple weeks. Invasive thoughts, questioning relationship stuff and seeing my so constantly posting things that dont seem to line up with how I feel? And like. I ask. I know what she is to me, but what am i to her? And haven't heard anything. No response. All thats been given is just the "read" notification from Facebook. And like. I get it, lifes chaos and busy as shit right now. But is it that hard to take 5 minutes to just be like "hey look, i promise i will get to this but im just super busy right now" Just to like. calm those demon thoughts just a little bit? Everything has kind of been a mess since December when I lost one of my best friends in the world. I haven't really opened up about it cause well, I don't know what the fuck to say or to who without throwing everything out of whack. I dunno sometimes i just need to shout into the void and get shit out. Part of me is just like "just tell me you have someone else so i can fucking move on and break my heart" and another part of me is all "trust her, have some faith and trust." but god fucking damn silence hurts.
