Frogs I Guess

HC that Ilya jokes about giving birth to Luca himself

As much as we revel in idea of Ottawa being a gayest team in the league it also has to be acknowledged that any players they acquire are going to be subject to much more public speculation/scrutiny about their sexuality and that's going to suck regardless of whether or not they're actually queer and how supportive the team is

i do think carter vaughn hooked up with a guy at hockey camp when he was like 16. in #myvision his sister had just come out and he’s staying at a random college campus for a three week summer intensive and seizes the opportunity to learn some things about himself. nothing crazy maybe a heavy makeout in someone’s dorm after curfew, maybe a handjob. i do think he comes out of the experience straight but like sure yeah he’s glad he tried it. summer camp is a horny horny place so i do feel that i have a leg to stand on here

honestly we don’t talk enough about how Ilya and J.J. are star crossed besties. if they were drafted to the same team, they’d have a ten minute long secret handshake. they’d own the local club scene. they’d share one wardrobe of atrocious, flashy shirts. they’d have an obnoxious amount of inside jokes. they’d laugh about Shane Hollander being boring and it wouldn’t take long for J.J. to notice the glint in his best bro’s eyes. what could have beeeen!!

do people know that calling hollanov a dom/sub relationship does not exclude the idea of them both loving and taking care of each other but rather, Explicity includes it

Ilya, assuming it was going to be a cute dog movie, watched Marley and Me on the plane. For about a year afterwards the raiders are only able to refer to Cliff as “hey you”, otherwise it’s a gamble on which stage of grief their captain will end up on

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

nothingggg is more ilya than the tampa hotel room sequence where shane comes out, ilya acts like a dick while keeping himself physically as far from shane as possible, shane gets his feelings hurt and starts looking a little chin-wobbly, and ilya audibly GROANS and flings himself across the room to sit next to him on the bed. but he’s still not looking at shane or touching him because ilya is NOT here to comfort him or anything ok he just randomly and totally unrelatedly got tired of standing up at the exact moment that shane’s big brown eyes started getting all wet and shiny with tears and the nearest place to sit down happened to be on the bed next to shane. do NOT read anything into this as none of this means ANYTHING (in under two minutes he will be crying in shane’s arms btw)