Frogs I Guess

do i want to come to "the circus"? (apprehensive) describe it with two adjectives first

When I say women should have higher standards for how they're treated, this is exactly what I mean. At the first insult? Kick. Him. To. The. Curb.

Seriously. What the fuck did he think was going to happen?

there's something so deeply dystopian to me how tech companies don't understand that a forced convenience is not a convenience at all. i'm sure autocorrect is helpful for many, but a function that forcibly changes my actual written words and punctuation is taking away my language. photo filters can be nice but i need to choose using them myself or else i have lost the ability to take the picture i want. i don't want a machine to draw or write for me. taking away the option for me to do things manually feels like violence!!!! all this talk of endless opportunity, why are you RESTRICTING me

disgustedly throws youtube autodubbing onto the pyre pile

Cinderella

I would have popped that thing in my mouth like a jolly rancher

"I would kill for you. I would die for you" would you take a break for me? Would you sit down and rest? For a day, a week, a year? Would you let others take care of your needs for me? Would you let yourself be held for me? By me?

not only is it okay, I think i'd like that very much, thank you.

we talk about Shane's lingerie (jockstrap, white socks, backwards ballcap) but what about Ilya's lingerie. The white ribbed tank top. The house slippers. The CK briefs. The adidas track suit. I know in my heart Ilya owns a track suit and he wears it like a negligee #hislingerie

i need to [remembers suicide is a permanent solution to temporary states of intolerable existence] change my art style

i need to create something so beautiful that i'm forgiven for everything

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."