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@uhhhhjhfrogs
troy: hey as a fun team activity you guys could make me carry a wooden cross from toronto to ottawa and then crucify me at center ice
troy: sorry i know it’ll take longer than if you just tied me to it and set it alight but i think that would melt all the ice and i don’t want to be even more of an inconvenience yk
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some shotgunning haasollanov for you <3
my art tag
don’t forget to reblog <3
in the interest of fair whackings my favorite ilya flaw is his obnoxious martyr complex that is actually breathtakingly selfish and a way of avoiding intimacy to keep from getting hurt <3 there is just so much there to explore!!!
the sentence ‘shane obviously does not want to be in a relationship with the giving tree’ just popped into my head fully formed and of course i felt the need to share
Ilya’s I’d do anything for you’ and Shane’s ‘I don’t want that/god are you okay?’ Is so meaty to me.
It betrays such a lack of self worth but it also has him assuming negative things about Shane and how Shane perceives him. Shane doesn’t want Ilya for what he can give him and Ilya has such a difficult time internalising that it makes him resentful in his martyrdom ughhh. I love him
That one post
when they're out at an event and ilya tells shane he can't drink because of the baby and shane has to act like he isn't hard in his pants for the rest of the night
I just had the most vivid vision come to me like the oracle of Delphi and it’s Shane and Hayden going to do that little head bonk except they’re saying goodbye after a dinner and they’re decidedly not at the rink or wearing helmets and both of them are a second too late curbing their natural reflexes and just straight up bonk each other really hard on the noggin and both go ‘ow fuck ow’. Ilya is watching from the car lovingly wondering if Hayden’s idiocy is infectious.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The Diaries of Franz Kafka, 1912
[Text description: "August 10. Wrote nothing.
August 11. Nothing, nothing." /End description]
Ilya’s altar 🫠
older guy who thinks he's a father figure x younger guy who's wanted to fuck him since he learned what sex was
Actually, no, I don't think that friendships dropping like flies in your late 20s and early 30s because no one has time for that between overwork and family obligations and marriage and kids and partners and the ritual of the time slayer is normal and ok. No I don't think deep conversations and spontaneous adventures being replaced with a tired coffee every six months is a normal part of growing up. I don't think that emotional intimacy and soul bonds disintegrating in the face of practical inconvenience is a fact of life. I think that means something is deeply deeply wrong with our society and I will never forgive it for the friends I've lost
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ilya rozanov insane? no. ilya rozanov in shane.
ilya getting spooked and thinking the loon is a wolf in the distance does make me laugh imagining shane finally convincing him to go camping and then that first night packing up food away from the tent and saying they need to change out of clothes that might smell like food
"what? you have rules for this even in nature, hollander? we are sleeping on the ground. I think it will be okay if you sleep in a shirt you ate a hot dog in."
"no, it's just to make sure animals like bears and stuff won't be a problem."
"...what"
"if you eat in clothes, they'll smell like food and-"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BEARS MIGHT BE A PROBLEM, SHANE"
"no, that's why we change clothes and pack the food away! so they won't be! 🥰"
"WHY DID YOU BRING ME TO A PLACE WHERE THIS IS A CONCERN"
"it's fun!"
"FOR WHO? THE BEARS? BECAUSE WE BRING THEM DOORDASH?"
look I'm not gonna pretend I know anything about electronics, but sometimes a plug is so big it blocks another socket, and I'm always like "who the fuck do you think you are"
useless piece of shet
The Centaurs decide to secretly compete to see who can make Ilya laugh the hardest as part of a social media campaign promoting the upcoming season
Most of them get at least a chuckle out of Ilya, some get a full laugh. Shane goes last and he just silently texts Ilya something then puts his phone down. Ilya checks his phone and starts laughing so hard he almost passes out, with Shane smiling smugly at the others who all went all out in their efforts to make their captain laugh
The video ends with a screenshot of what Shane sent Ilya and it’s a picture of Anya wearing sunglasses
For weeks Ilya will start laughing when he looks at his phone and sees the picture and it pisses the team off every time because Shane just silently grins every time
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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the best fruits are hardest to open
this fucking bowling ball is gonna be delicious i know it
I am a huge fan of Ilya being a dom, actually. I love that he gets off on it. That he likes taking control and making Shane feel good. I love that he wants to teach Shane how to say, 'Yes, Sir.' I love that he's not portrayed as someone dominating because he has to do it. He met Shane and they both found their place in this relationship so easily. Ilya loves telling Shane what to do and Shane loves doing exactly what he's told by Ilya. They fit together so well!!!
It's also very important to me to talk about the way I'm a huge fan of Shane being a sub. I love that he gets off on it. That he loves being told what to do, that he thrives on being good. The way he instantly goes to his knees when Ilya tells him to do so. I love that he's a strong and competent man who's the best at what he dooes, that he's a jock and so fucking huge and still wants Ilya to tell him what to do. That he can be and feel powerful by giving up control. Both, Ilya and Shane came into this relationship and didn't have to adapt or change who they are or what they desire. There is no judgment between them, only admiration and love
