unboxed

Five: No, why would I be sick of you?

Four: Ugh because I’m so lame, and uninteresting and ugly and stupid.

Five: I don’t think so

Four: You’re just saying that…

Five: *shrugs* I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true

Four: Really? You really think I’m interesting?

Five: Yup

Four: And attractive?

Five: Sure

Four: And smart?

Five: My precise implication was that you were not stupid. I never said you were smart.

Two: No thanks, I’m fine!

Three: Here’s $50 could you pick me up a nice bottle of wine? I’m going to a dinner party later.

Four: What’s the point? It’s not like you could bring something that would make me feel anything…

Five: I heard there’s a sale on batteries. Would you grab me three 12 packs of AAA and four 24 packs of AA?

Six: Actually can I tag along? I need something but I’m not sure they’ll have it and if they don’t I want to try to find the next best thing.

Seven: Since you’ll have more hands grab a few bottles of ketle one for the party this weekend!

Eight: What? No we can’t have another party I need to study this weekend.

Nine: …

One: So is that all?

- The ‘I totally did that’ smirk

- The ‘I didn’t do that’ smile

- The 'I wish I did that’ laugh

- You can remember what your friend got for Christmas three years ago but can’t remember their birthday for shit

- Loosing track of time and obsessing over something on the internet until 3AM.

- Constantly needing supervision or else you’ll destroy something

- Radiating Chaotic energy whenever you’re plotting something

- Not being able to keep secret because you didn’t know it was a secret, or thinking that secrets are pointless

- Not being able to lie about little things, but when it comes to bigger things, they’ll never know the truth

- Having a weird photographic memory that kicks in randomly

- People calling you smart, and you not agreeing because you do stupid shit constantly

- Trying to figure out someones life story after meeting them one time

- Trying to use your 'intelligence’ as an advantage, and then it backfires

- Having your own little celebration whenever you do something (something like noises or a little dance you do)

- Trying to understand people’s motivations and morals, and then giving up because it just gets more confusing as you go

- Feeling as if you’re detached from reality. Like no one really exists and this all is a dream. Then you realize you’re being stupid and go back to whatever you were doing.

- You can’t stop talking about certain things, even if you see that the person doesn’t want to hear about it, YOU GOTTA TALK

1: withdraw from social contacts and become very melancholic and emotional

2: start becoming bossy and maybe aggressive

3: dissociates and withdraws from own emotions

4: does whatever others tell them to do, even if it's not what they actually have to do

5: procrastinates. A lot.

6: pretends to have everything under control. And they really don't

7: way more serious than they normally are, try hard to do everything perfectly

8: withdraw and collect a lot of unnecessary knowledge to feel like they're in control

Eight: Turn that frown upside down!

Four:  ):

How the Types Perceive Communication

How the Types Perceive Conflict and Anger

How the Types Perceive Decision Making

How the Types Perceive Giving Feedback

How the Types Perceive Interactions

How the Types Perceive Leadership

How the Types Perceive Coaches and Coaching 

How the Types Perceive How to Sell

type 1: "I have the moral high ground. I need to make sure all of my actions are justifiable."

type 2: "If I am loving, I will be loved back. If I don't go the extra mile to meet others' needs, I won't be."

type 3: "I am the most competent and impressive because others don't work as hard to succeed as I do."

type 4: "I deserve to be victimized. Others reject me because there is something wrong with me."

type 5: "Withdrawing until I arrive at a complete understanding will compensate for my vulnerabilities."

type 6: "If I stay vigilant and observe who is the most trustworthy, I can stave off danger and loss."

type 7: "I'll stay positive and keep my mind stimulated, because dwelling on pain and fear is pointless."

type 8: "I have the most strength and grit; I need to make sure nothing poses a threat to me or those I protect."

Based in feedback, I’ve decided to make this post based on my previous one on tritypes.

If you want to read the serious version, click here.

Enneagram 1:

Sp: “Is that… a typo … in my paper?! Oh my gad no no no no no!” *sends professor an apologetic e-mail although the paper was only a draft*

Sx: “Hey, you were supposed to be at my party five minutes ago. This simply isn’t good enough. Next time, you have to set an alarm so you’ll be here in time. And did you shower before you got here? Your hair is greasy. Shampoo is a thing, you know.”

So: “Eating meat is murder. You should really be a vegetarian, like ME.” *really emphasizes me* … *two minutes later* “… What?! What are you saying, you are not a feminist?!…” *cycle repeats with different concepts*

Enneagram 2:

Sp: *at a party late at night* “Wanna go to my place and check out my Pokémon card collection? Wink wink” *actually shows the other person their Pokémon card collection when they get there*

Sx: “Wait, so you are telling me this guy likes me, and that guy likes me? Well, then they should fight over me, of course! *watches from afar with a smug smile as these two guys tear each other apart*

So: “Is there anything you need? A blanket? A hug? A cup of tea? No? PLEASE TELL ME HOW I CAN BE OF SERVICE!”

Enneagram 3:

Sp: “If I can live my life without bragging about my achievements, you can live your life without bragging about your achievements. Idiot.”

Sx: *meets friends at pub* “Hey, guys! Eyes over here! Guess what, I was in the newspaper today!” *hands out a laminated copy of the article to each person in the group*

So: *on a date* “Well, that’s enough about you, let’s talk more about me now!” *explains how they’re gonna be famous and the power of ~dreams~*

Enneagram 4:

Sp: “No no, I’m fine, it’s just a dislocated knee cap. No, I swear, I can barely feel anything.” *laughs desperately* “No, these aren’t real tears. I swear, I can walk it off no prob!”

Sx: *meeting someone for the first time after chatting online* “Man, you are taller than me. Now I wanna cut off your head so I’m the tall one.” *pretends it’s a joke but is dead serious*

So: “Oh man. I’m so thirsty. If only that glass of water was a little bit closer to me.” *somebody finally hands over the glass after ten minutes of sighing* “Oh maaaan, now I’m not thirsty anymore. I’ll never be happy.” *sigh*

Enneagram 5

Sp: *may or may not be preparing for a zombie apocalypse, emerging from their man cave after ten days* “Well fuck, the sun is up. Better stay inside.”

Sx: “OMG, I’ve been playing this video game for the past three months, it’s really great! Yeah, I know the only thing you do is herd sheep, but it’s really fun! NO, you GOTTA try it! PLAY WITH ME PLZ, I’ve been so alone!”

So: “No no, you guys just talk. I’ll just sit here and play on my 3DS. It’s fine, really, I can just listen, that’s okey.” *quietly observes everyone for three hours and is the last one to leave*

Enneagram 6

Sp: “Shit, what if my savings won’t cover my hypothetical car accident when I’m traveling next summer!” *frantically saves more money for next year’s summer vacation to the neighboring town*

Sx: “Is that…. A challenge?! HOLD MAH PURSE, IMMA BEAT THIS FUCKER TO DAH GROUND.” *on the inside: “please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me” *

So: “See, here is the deal. I’m the high school jock, and you’re a nerd! So, get out of my way and know your place in this world, loser!” *also works the other way around* “I’m just a nerd, better stay away from that jock over there. He’s so cool. Wish he thought I was cool like him.”

Enneagram 7

Sp: “So this is where the party’s at?! I hope it’s okey I brought like twelve of my best friends … Whooooo partaay” *is shit drunk 10 minutes later in a stranger’s apartment*

Sx: *during an exchange student program* “OMG I’ve lived in this country for two days now! I GOTTA MOVE NOW! Hmm… let’s see, where have I not lived yet? Uzbekistan seems fun!”

So: *totally wants the last piece of the cake* “No no, you take the rest, I don’t even want it. No no, just take it, it’s fine, I’m fine, this is fine, it’s all good, we’re fine here. JUST TAKE THE GODDAMN CAKE!”

Enneagram 8

Sp: “Hey, you are my person broh! I’ll help you beat up that mean old lady across the hall. Hey, it’s no prob man, that’s what dude-bros are for.”

Sx: “I swear to god, if you ask me to move this couch one more time, I’ll rip out your vocal cords. I don’t care if it blocks the door to your room, this is where I sit and watch Netflix!”

So: *saves an old lady from drowning* The old lady: “omg, thank you so much, how can I ever repay you?” *so 8 just leaves, whispering to self*: “Another day is saved by the amazing Falcon Boy!” *whistles self-made theme song*

Enneagram 9

Sp: “Hey, I’m in the middle of my 18 hour South Park marathon here, please just - do not disturb me please. Oh, and, could you get me another beer plz?” *puppy eyes because they really don’t wanna get off the couch*

Sx: “No no no, I’ll do whatever you wanna do. No, I swear, I’ll do literally whatever, just you name it. No, of course I don’t have my own opinions, why would I need that when I have yours?”