Monday is murder

Oh my fuck I just spit my drink everywhere

I’m in fucking tears

I ugly laughed

omfg

Today I was talking to my dad and I referred to myself as his son(I’m genderfluid btw) and he said “Today’s a Son day huh?” And I was like “yeah” And he was like “huh, I thought today was a Saturday, not a Sunday” And I just laughed for like 5 minutes

Diversity only makes dads stronger. More powerful.

the dad jokes are evolving

i really don’t understand how a lot of you are single because you’re all attractive and have good music taste like what more do people want 

sanity

people are so demanding

hi im auditioning for the role of whoever started this meme and ill be singing it’s too late to apologize 

the older I get, the more I understand squidwards anger

You either die Spongebob, or live long enough to see yourself become Squidward.

Oh my god.

this is the most adorable thing i have ever seen

magic

Precious.

Her look says she had to kill a man to be tall