Tyrece & Lillian

say what you mean, mean what you say

Just because you’re behind the wheel doesn’t mean you have to mow anyone over.

A key to happiness is to stop wondering whether you are happy or not. Pursue a goal bigger than yourself and when you look back you will find you were happy all along. If you are constantly asking yourself whether you’re happy or not then you ponder that happiness away.

I am rather unsocial. I value my alone time as much as my social time. When given the option to branch out, talk to, and meet new people or to not then I’ll probably pick the latter. It’s not like I’m shy or insecure. I just don’t really find a lot people too interesting. It’s kind of a bitchy thing to say but hey it is what it is.

I’ve been trying to break this habit though. I don’t think it’s really a stellar trait to have. Also I don’t like finding people uninteresting because that’s simply not true. Everyone has unique quirks, even if some are more subtle than others. So I’ve been trying out some cool little methods to trick my novelty biased brain.

The first method is to just people watch. You cannot believe how much you can find out about someone just by their body language. Like people don’t just do things for shits and giggles. The way someone presents themselves is a direct reflection of their traits and beliefs. Not like presents like clothing or dialec. It’s more like how they do it. How much do they talk, how close they are to their friends and loved ones, how they react, you get the point.

My other method is to take a moment to pretend you are a world famous detective. When you talk to people it is your job to find out their hidden talent, quirk, etc. Just pry and be genuine. Make it your goal.

In all honesty these tips are kind of generic and (I assume) common knowledge to more extroverted people. But for an oblivious little introvert like myself I have to set reminders. Fun fun fun.

I’ve been going through some old stuff that I’ve drawn and some old songs I used to vibe with. Doing so I’ve noticed how much I’ve changed and evolved. It really does motivate me to keep going in life to see what my next phase in life is.

If you’re having a bad day then just breathe, take some time to yourself, rant if you need, then go on with your day. You don’t have to wait for tomorrow to feel better.

As of recent I’ve been going through an impatient spurt. I feel as though I’m in a buffering period of my life. Like, I am so close to breaking my routine and all I want is a change of pace but because of where I am I cannot achieve such things. Not quite yet.

This problem bothers the living hell out of me on a day to day basis. Side note: For all that do not know me I am not the most patient person on God’s green earth. Actually, I’m quite the opposite. I like to consistently feel proactive in my daily life. Not only in the physical sense but the mental sense as well. So when things are being done inefficiently or not being done at all, it brings this looming feeling of anxiousness and/or hopelessness. Okay, side note over.

My big question was how do kick myself out of this spiral that I am involuntarily going down. I finally received my answer when I was on a nice walk at this park that I frequently visit. As I was walking I took a look around and saw how beautiful everything was. I saw the linoleum skies that stretched for miles. The blades of grass that followed the breeze. I also realized that this isn’t going to be around forever. There’s going to be a day when I’m not going to be around to see this anymore. So, I better appreciate it now before it’s too late. In all honesty, I’ve never felt more in the moment and existential because I was “in the moment.”  

Right then and there I figured out why I have been so bothered. It seems like I was sleepwalking through my own life. I have been so hyper focused on where I was in the past and where I was going in the future that I wasn’t living in the present.

It is important to use the time you’re given. Time is a fleeting resource that rather inflexible in its value. If it’s wasted you aren’t getting that shit back. Don’t be blinded by a goal or nostalgia to the point that you’re just sleepwalking in your own life. Wake up and appreciate the opportunity you were given. We are only given one shot at this whole living thing, might as well live.

TL;DR: stop and smell the roses.