oh baby let's make reality, actuality

@mollyofhearts: So I guess I couldn't convince my dad to get more flattering uniforms for the bowling alley. So come on down for opening weekend! I'll be the one in the completely unflattering and cleavageless polo shirt. Yaaaaaay #HeartsBowling #openingweekend

@twyladum: I have a knife!

@buggiesmalls: what do you call a fly without wings?

@buggiesmalls: a walk!!!

@buggiesmalls: follow for more excellent bug content

Cool! Where are you getting your prophetic information, and why do prophecies care about SHAW club fundraisers is what I would like to know. And sorry, use my what? 

The universe, obviously. Prophecies are around us all the time, most usually disguised as the song stuck in our head but sometimes peppered away other places. And you wiles, of course! Your female powers!

Eh, shoulda known that hair was too crazy to be a man. Had the sex? You sound five right now, you know. Yeah, go for it. I might not bloody understand it either, though, just warning you.

You don’t like clean people? You’re not making hooking up with you sound very appealing, crazy girl, and that’s coming from someone who spends his free time on a salty sea. Four murders, gotcha. Anyone anybody here knows?

The Sex is different than sex, and you sound five for not knowing that. And that’s alright, as long as you touch the letters, that’ll be good enough for me.

Uh…four. Is that a good or bad number? If it’s bad it’s technically Gwen’s fault so shouldn’t she have it instead? Can you mentally communicate a disease because that would be a handy superpower. I am wily! I try to be at least. When you’re on a boat there aren’t that many places to hide if you’ve made someone angry so you have to get creative.

Four is a good number, very even! It means its a good stable ground for whatever happens next, but if you’d like to give the credit to Gwen you need to acquire her DNA somehow, those are the rules. I wish you could mentally communicate a disease - or that I could, anyway, because I’m sure some people can. I can see you as creative. You have a power within you.

What does STE stand for? Should I worry about having one? How do you scan for them? I don’t know! I feel like he could outsmart me whatever I tried to do. Although, he did call me the smart Smee the other day so maybe not! Do you think I’m the smart Smee? I need a second opinion.

No, you're probably fine, unless you've slept with someone questionable. How many letters are in the name of the last person you slept with? That's how you know. Smart doesn't determine much, honestly! I can't decide which of you is the smart one, but if Hector said its you it probably is, and you definitely seem wily to me. Besides, you're fueled with revenge, which is the strongest motivator. I think you could pull something wonderful off.

Were you hatched in a McDonalds, or was Ronald your actual dad and they just handed you off to a Tweedle because they didn’t want you? I won’t let them read them, sure. I can’t promise they won’t find them first and read them against my will, though. They’re not the most respectful of privacy on the Sea Devil.

And they’re walking among us in Walt, so be careful not to bone one of them, they might transmit their evil through their junk. You’ve killed fourteen people already, or you’ve got some murder list for later in life? Or none of the above and you just have a feeling you’re going to randomly kill fourteen people in the future?

Ronald McDonald is actually my mother! Clowns do lay eggs, you know, and once she and Tweedle Dum had the sex, my birth was inevitable. Should I write the letters in a code only you understand, them?

I’m masturbating right now!

I don’t really know what I’m supposed to think about that, so I’m just going to let that one go. Are you going to tell me what I was warm to or just expect me to wonder when wondering isn’t really my thing? I don’t fuck with many other people, so that’s definitely a negative. The only other people I’d give enough of a shit about to write to are going to be on the boat with me, most likely.

Crustymole sounds like a bad videogame at the Family Fun Center. I went there once and I never wanted to go back again because it seemed like the kind of place I’d rather blow up than spend more than ten minutes in there again. Why do you get 14? What did you do to deserve that? Yeah, probably. I don’t know, Rafe might bitch out since they’re friends or whatever. He might even try to stop us, so maybe you’ll get full murder honors.

You’re not ‘supposed’ to think anything about anything, you just think what you do and the world has to deal with it. And my birth was egg-based, but you got the colors wrong - I was red and yellow from the start, a McBaby through and through. Fair enough. I shall send you letters back then, only if you promise not to let your crew read them over your shoulder or behind your back. They’re for your eyes only and if you break that promise, who knows what will happen.

A real partner or an imaginary partner? Because either way the answer is SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. (That’s Flamingo for ‘yes’.)

HECTOR IS NOT ANYONE’S DADDY! He’s glowing because liar, liar his pants are on FIRE. Ocean and Hector aren’t compatible, you’re right. Ocean is far too cool and if Hector is having sex with anyone it should NOT be my best friend and roommate. I put up with a lot of Hector’s weird one night stands - he had sex with that girl that dresses like she sucks off Freddy Kreuger for fun and that was FINE. He should be validated in his weird choice of partners, but sleeping with MY BEST FRIEND? That’s punishable by law.

If his pants are on fire, maybe he and Ocean ought to go scan themselves for STE - they’re like STD’s, only worse. How do you plan on punishing him? Because the more heinous the crime, the more creative the punishment ought to be, I think, and I feel like you can get mighty creative. 

Do you think about uses of my skin a lot, crazy girl? Some of us? Are you calling yourself a toxic waste baby? I always figured if you had some weird birth you’d have hatched out of a green and orange ostrich egg or something, not crawled out of a dumpster. You gonna toss bottles back or just leave me hanging?

People who know what it’s like to have one side of their headphones go dead and realize shit sounds completely different when it’s only in one ear? You’d still have lips and eyebrow ridges, but you could also be a mini-Voldymort or whatever that noseless Harry Potter dude is, and I feel like you’d like being that kind of chaos demon. Sure, if you wanna try it, knock yourself out. You wanna help me rip her up? My sisters and I get first dibs, but if you wanna get in line, even if it’s outside of Walt, I won’t stop you.

I want to say yes just to freak you out, but the truth is I think about your skin more often than I do the uses of it, which is unusual for me as far as skin is concerned, so feel special. My birth was definitely a special circumstance, and you’re warmer with the green and orange ostrich egg theory than the dump. Hmm, well, that depends on if you’re sending bottles to tons of other people. If you are, my replies might just get lost in the shuffle, and there’s nothing sadder than a message who never gets delivered.

So I’d be like a shell for a hermit crab, only like, a ghost would be wearing me instead? Not a chance, no fucking way. I’m not sure if you mean they were shitty people or if they literally crawled out of toxic waste and that’s how they were born, I wouldn’t doubt anything coming out of that place. Sure, I’ll write it down and put it inside of a bottle, and if anyone tries to steal my intel, I’ll smash the thing over their head.

What would you rip off first? I could see you losing a nose, it seems like the kind of thing you’d do. Are you a bone whisperer now? There’s no way you can know that, Crazy Girl, but thanks for the support. Yeah, I’ve considered it. I really wanted to rip the person who took my mom, actually, but I think I have to wait until I get her outside of Walt to do that.

You would be but a skin suit, and what a sad use of your skin that would be. I don’t know how everyone in Wonderland was born, but I’m willing to bet toxic waste was involved with some of us, we have to have powers somehow, after all. A message and a weapon all in one, just like me! I think I’m going to like this bottle system.