Yep, this sure was a good day! He had just impressed a group of poverty-stricken kids at his brand new school with his brand new iPhone, aha! They were sooo jealous, it brought according joy to Cartman's dark, dark soul. He even offered to let one of them borrow it, before laughing in their face the next second, hell, he felt a little aroused when he saw the hope drain from their eyes. Oops.
He really was enjoying this brand new environment, and so far everyone was enjoying his presence, too! I mean, why wouldn't they? He was a handsome genius with the fanciest new phone in town! Everyone on the whole planet should love him! And he wouldn't stop until they did. Love was all he deserved. Although he did enjoy people fearing him, too. It brought a good ounce of happiness to him to know that someone out there was chilled to the bone just at the mere mention of him.
Woah, all of those ecstasy-laced thoughts were really distracting him from the case at hand. Wait, he actually had no objective right now, he just wanted to let this bus take him wherever, maybe he'd find a restaurant, he didn't know and he didn't care. Bus stops just felt right to him for reasons unknown, even if he was feeling a bit lonely.
And then some snooty fuck burst his thought bubble with that grating accent of his. Hahaha! This would be perfect! He even twirled his sought after umbrella in anticipation as the other spoke to him. "Nyyyope, I just have this one. But even if I did I wouldn't give it to you, you fucking redcoat, you'd probably tyaax me for it, hahahaha. Oi, oi, oi, it's seven bong, don't you got some place to be, oi? Oi, shut yer'fookin' mouth or I'll bash'er fookin'ed'n I swear on me mum, oi! Hahaha, that's how you sound, just in case your ears are caked in shitty exports."