Some days no matter how much you try to stay in control, upbeat, calm, positive, smiley, wonderful, loving life etc etc and all of the things that you see literally every other human doing effortlessly when you personally are having a shit of a day, you cannot help but feel somewhat defeated, like a fish out of water, everything going wrong in massive proportions (note massive proportions being relative to your usual “in control” days so lets not nit pick). For example toddler being exceptionally naughty cos he knows you’re not quite on form today, he is finding life threatening activities the moment you turn your back or he's trying to eat the contents of your handbag the minute you aren’t hard staring him (note to self keep dangerous items out of reach/out of handbag), you spill your coffee on your jeans and the floor (and seriously consider licking it up but then just cry), you burn the dinner, mum in law has that special knack today of driving you absolutely NUTS without rhyme nor reason as to why and try as you must to rescue the day from the declared “STATE OF EMERGENCY” that is clearly being declared - things go from bad to worse. But fear not my darlings there is nothing so bad that gin won’t cure/diffuse/help you move past/forget (delete as applicable). Sometimes I think its really just a case of you start the day on the wrong foot, getting out of the wrong side of bed as we say sometimes and then whoosh its a domino effect. No amount of Yoga or camomile tea gonna save your ass momma! So, to what extent do we determine our own fate on “days like these”? what is the reason for this catastrophe of misfortunes that greet us one after the effing other some days, so that we are left begging for mercy by 5pm? The greeks might say that you’ve been “eyed” the english put it down to the good old law of Sod (who the F is Sod btw??) psychologists will say you are making the shit happen yourself subconsciously (well, they may not use these precise words to be fair but you know what I’m getting at right?) Whatever it is what Im trying to say is that these days don't happen all that regularly right?, maybe we should even try to see the funny side of them (hard I know when you are in the midst of it all gasping for air and swearing like a trooper) because for anyone on the outside looking in your day probably looks pretty hilarious. Maybe we should go with the flow, the “if you can’t beat em join em” style of coping, maybe you should try to do things that you know will make you feel better and simply cannot go wrong. Examples of such things are well, erm, only actually Gin. Because you know that on a day like that if you try to go to the softplay, the countryside, the gym and release some of those good old feel good endorphins you’ll just encounter something horrific that you cannot cope with in your given state, e.g at softplay (no coffee/gin) , countryside - get lost in the forest,  or slip in the changing room at the gym and put your back out meaning several more days like the aforementioned - or something equally shitty so best thing to do seriously is to wait till you are in the safety of your own home, only absolutely essential trips outside should be made, said (evil) toddler goes to bed, then don’t for one minute attempt any kind of tidying, cooking etc - order a chinese takeaway (or whatever comfort food tickles your fancy) and consume large amounts of Gin. If not Gin, call someone to bring it around. If no one can help, take nearest alcoholic beverage sip it mindfully but in volume and R-E-L-A-X. Tomorrow’s another day kid. xx
