A Midsummer Trinket

The briefcase is dropped and the evidence is destroyed. Thus, Shorter & Griffin and others die without people finding out why or how. Military men were going to play games with people's lives overseas in a bid for resources - heroin and oil - to keep their own hands proverbially clean and other than the ones who get assassinated, most of them walk away without consequences. It's left open-ended as Max promises to finish this story with Justice; but how can he, when it went as far deep as it did? Who is going to hold the government accountable when the government is the both the "executor of justice" and the ones committing the crime?

Ash's father is given sympathy after being fatally wounded, as if the bullet erases the horrible way he treated his son, the way he victim-blamed his own child and encouraged him into prostitution before turning around and berating him for it.

Blanca takes the shot that ends the life of one of the men who ruined Ash's childhood, not Ash. Someone else kills another man who raped him on camera when Ash clearly wanted to do it himself and says as much.

Police repeatedly, over and over, fail to help Ash; they don't help him when he reports his assault at eight years old, the investigator forces him to rewatch the videos of his CSA as means to bully & retraumatizing him into confessing to a crime he didn't commit, security at the NMHI are willing to take advantage of him as a "wayward patient"...

Ash is prevented from killing Frog in the interest of prosecuting the case "the right way"; despite how much he remembers the sound of the camera shudder that haunts his nightmares, he still feels the need to apologize for wanting to kill him.

Drilling into Foxx is not what kills him. Golzine is the one who takes him out - the man who ruined Ash's life and traumatized him more than anyone else "saves him" before falling off the roof after succumbing to the shots from Foxx. Ash is preventing from killing two men who deserved it the most.

Even when the massive ring of corruption, child prostitution and pornography are brought to light, we as an audience never get to know for sure how many children or their families get justice, how many men get punished for the most heinous crimes imaginable. Who holds them accountable when the evil goes straight to the top of the government, into the White House itself? Who can be trusted to enact justice when the whole system is exposed for corruption?

There are brief moments of peace or justice; Yut Lung confronts that his own trauma made him jealous that Ash had what he did not and lets go of his vengeance/envy and in turn Ash doesn't pursue him. Max burns the photos of Ash's sexual abuse as an offer of respite-- "these will never hurt you again." Ash experienced the kind, honest love of someone who never feared him or abused him, who showed him love did not have to be sexual or violent, it could be shown through soft actions. Ash burns down the mansion Shorter was murdered in, and empties the clip into a doctor who cared more about science than compassion or empathy. Ash empties the clip into the man that tries to kill Eiji.

Ash does not get a happy ending. Ash doesn't get to live with Eiji. Ash doesn't get to heal from everything he has suffered, even if he helped other little boys find justice and healing through his sacrifices. Ash learned to love and trust but never got to enjoy the benefits of those things. Ash is prevented from achieving both the most cathartic forms of justice in his own sense of morality- killing the people who have hurt him deeply in ways that are unfathomable would be the most satisfying ending to both Ash and us as an audience - or seeing those men be prevented from hurting others in "other ways" while Ash recovers physically, emotionally, sexually, and mentally. Ash is denied every form of justice, no matter what lense you see justice through.

“You can’t love someone unless you love yourself.” Bullshit. I have never loved myself. But you? Oh God, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.

Ash, the literal next week:

A few BANANA FISH pages from Hayashi Akemi’s Animation Works “thesaurus”

(MAJOR SPOILERS !!!)

Ash Lynx is already “dead”, he had a new identity as Chris,  since they faked his death once , if it was found out he was alive, he would most certainly be sent to prison, Ash has way too much blood on his hands. 

He had Dino’s money but it was Dino’s money, just because Ash stole it and Dino was dead you think the Corsican mafia would just back off ? 

Ash’s whole world is gang violence and fighting, that wont just stop overnight, its a part of him, whatever he like it or not. YutLung is always an enemy ,no matter what he says and does ,he is the head of the Chinese mafia, if Ash lived their paths would be destines to cross again, also YutLung knew about Eiji , he could use Eiji against Ash no matter where Eiji is, YutLung has the reach and power to get it done. 

What about Sing ? The Chinese gang is still out for blood , sure at this point they can explain them the whole Banana Fish deal ( since it was destroyed ) but how many people do you think would believe them ? how many would go rouge and try to hound down Ash ?

Things may have looked neat and warped up now who is to says they would stay that way if Ash had lived. 

Ash was loved by the people around him , to Max he was like a son , to Eiji he was everything. 

I wish he took Blancas offer , Blanca would have protected him, he might have been the only one who could. 

To explain how everything that happened was foreshadowed in the manga lets look at this scene from Vol. 12

Ash is willing will let himself be destroyed for the sake of his and Eijis happiness. Now when Blanca says destroyed he dose not just mean physically as in dying but also being destroyed emotionally..

This is where this next scene from Vol 17 comes in….Eiji is shot and dying and Ash would rather die at that moment if it meant saving Eiji…. 

It all comes down to Eiji and how deeply Ash loves him. 

If all the events of Banana Fish still happened but the only difference being that  Ash never fell in love with Eiji, I can assure you Ash would have lived at the end ,he would have been fighting Lao and gotten help.

Its not the stab wound that killed the Lynx it was love. 

Letting Eiji go in Vol.19 was the hardest thing Ash ever had to do , it took all of his restraint not to run after him to the airport and look how easily that changed after reading Eijis letter. Eiji is a part of his soul and his happiness but also his weakness.

The reason why Ash chose his own death was because no matter how much he and Eiji tried to be happy together, tragedy would always find them and Ash couldn’t bear to live in a world without Eiji Okamura , it hurt to much the first time he almost lost him. Ash had a taste of what true happiness felt like and then realized he could never have it ,all he could do was stay away, to keep Eiji alive and safe but for how long ?

Ash knew he couldn’t be with Eiji and he knew Eiji wouldn’t stay away and he knew himself well enough and how weak his love for Eiji makes him and that he couldn’t protect him if it came down to it again. When they where together they where happy but also vulnerable…one of them would have died, this is why Ash died willingly when he was offered the opportunity by Laos lousy assassination , thinking of Eiji in his final moments was what Ash wanted , this was his happiness, it was very selfish at his part but as long as Eiji lived Ash didn’t care what happened to him. 

Ash would never know how much his death would impact and change Eiji forever. 

Max: What is Eiji to you Ash?

Ash: The reason I wake up every morning

Shorter: Awww that's so cute

*In Ash's head*

Eiji: *Pulls blanket off Ash* Wakey Wakey get your ass up you important shit to do today.

*Outside Ash's head*

Ash: Yeah cute

Eiji: I NEED TO CALL 911 BUT THE 9 ISN’T WORKING

Shorter: TURN THE PHONE UPSIDE DOWN AND USE 6

Eiji: GENIUS

eiji:

eiji: we’re married