Twilight system blog

Hello, anon; we completely understand where you're coming from, we've been grappling with exotrauma for nearly ten years now- before even knowing we're plural. Our deepest sympathies, it can be so stressful and hard to cope with, especially when you're socially expected to treat exotrauma as "lesser than" bodily trauma even in some plural spaces.

We'll give some blogs we know that cater to this sort of thing, along with some suggestions we've found help the more intensely affected by exotrauma of us.

@exosupport - A support blog for exotrauma that posts regularly, we love seeing it on our dash!

@exotraumasupport - A support blog for exotrauma, seems sweet and has reblogged our stuff a few times

@thisisfictomisia - A VERY good support blog for specifically the fear that your trauma is less important than the body's. May have more resources too if you send an ask

As for personal advice...

- Identify specific trauma responses and work with them on an individual level. Exotrauma can feel very big and "unreal", especially when there isn't a good analogy to trauma from this world, but oftentimes the reaction can be eased similarly still. An example very close to home for us is time loop exotrauma; trauma responses from losing all your progress and connections over and over in a time loop, along with the desperation to finally be safe and secure, can manifest similarly to those with chronic housing, food, and/or relationship insecurity. By using that path, you can figure out ways to help them- in this example, by giving them routines and tasks that have tangible impact, by keeping them connected with the people in their lives, and doing whatever you can to reassure them that they're safe and nothing is going anywhere.

- Give them time and space to process things, but don't let them use that as an excuse to completely retreat into themselves. They probably have a lot to untangle, so you want to make sure they have the ability to move at their own pace. try to neither restrict nor force them; give them a nudge sometimes, try and direct them towards socialization and things to do in outerworld, things like that. Let it be okay if they refuse, as long as they have the option

- if they're around front/co-con, ask them about things when you get the choice. Which shirt to wear, which snack to eat, which game to play; it'll help them stay grounded in the moment.

- What do you want outside of the scope of your exotrauma? What little things do you enjoy? What activities, what food, what items? Try and give yourself/have your host give you those things when around front; the little things are rewarding, and will help you focus on more than the pain.

- Talk about it with someone your system trusts to take it seriously. Sometimes it just helps relieve the internal pressure to tell everything to another person in a different body, instead of keeping shit inside. It may feel like it won't do much but it can be such a relief

- Write it out. that one agonizing memory that canon doesn't depict, the thoughts that the screen or page would never give words to. It doesn't have to be good, it's not like you need to post it; it doesn't have to end happy, but it can be cathartic to make it if you want to.

If anyone else has any exotrauma-specific coping mechanisms they've found, please feel free to add on - this is definitely not exhaustive. We hope things are able to get better with time, please do take care of yourselves.

... And, just as a personal note-