The Paper Kites - By My Side (feat. Rosie Carney)

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The Paper Kites - By My Side (feat. Rosie Carney)

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Susan Sontag, As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh
todays an independence day. and im thinking about how lonely it is for people like me who are cult survivors, having lost all family bonds and relatives. a perpetual drifter in a world that doesnât make sense no matter how much you would want it to. having been raised separate from it, raised for a reality that is only in the head until after death. even the idea and belief that âno, you wonât even get to die because the world is gonna end in our time and we will be the sole survivorsâ, I have no proper concept of death, limitedness, dying.
that leads to the disrespect of sorts in my birth cult for those passed away, there is no remembrance visits to graves, no lit candles since itâs death worship and demonolatry, evil, and spirit worship because the cult believes dead donât leave souls behind and arenât capable of awareness. and even if thatâs true, does it really negate your pain and relieving it by going to their last resting place to remember and think freely about them. i only this year was able to go to the local cemetery on fathers and mothers days, to light candles to my passed away grandparents -- and even left offerings.. feathers to my grandmothers on motherâs day and beer for my grandfathers on fatherâs day.
it sprung to my mind, because I didnât know if itâs a custom to go light candles on cemeteries on our independence day.. -j
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tonight i feel really weird...and im not sure whatâs causing it. part of me feels like Iâm greatly influenced by some part from the past. and maybe thatâs the entire reason I experience the ambiance so weirdly. im not sure how to recognize *you* -- or if youâre upset about the shower. its sorta making me feel sick in the stomach that i donât know whatâs up..what exactly is making me feel this way.. -j
Radiohead - There, There ph. ohconnor@vsco Instagram  |  FacebookÂ
ever.
 Michael Onyebuchi Eze, Intellectual History in Contemporary South Africa

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âDecembers are for dreaming of all the things to come. Just turn towards the eastern sky, thatâs where the sun wakes from. Youâre at the end but what lies next is all that you will be. So close your eyes and wait for dawn. The futureâs yours, youâll see.â
â Ellis Nightingale