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Sex as a Portal

There exists a doorway within intimacy that most encounter but rarely recognize. It is a threshold shaped not only by the body, but by awareness itself. When intimacy is approached as ceremony rather than act, everything begins to reorganize. The body becomes an instrument of perception through presence and attunement. It activate the deeper architecture of energy revealing subtle, intelligent, and aliveness.

Our sexual energy, when met consciously, becomes sacred technology. It is a bridge between the human and the divine. Rather than seeking release, it gathers and refines, transforming the body into a temple shaped by vibration. Desire becomes directional, sensation becomes signal, and the experience shifts from unconscious reaction into intentional creation.

Within this space, the union of masculine and feminine energy transcends roles and becomes a living circuit. When presence meets openness, heaven and earth are no longer abstract — they unite within the body. Grounding and expansion, structure and surrender, begin to harmonize into a coherent field of awareness.

As this field deepens, movement becomes patterned and geometric in its precision. Rhythm reveals itself as a sacred language, and breath becomes the key that unlocks the entire experience. Allowing energy to circulate, expand, and elevate beyond localized sensation arouses a new level of comprehension.

With breath, desire transforms. What was once urgent becomes spacious refinement. Pleasure deepens into presence, and intimacy opens beyond the physical into a more expansive state of awareness.

Here, the experience becomes co-creation: not just between two people, but with Source itself. Giving and receiving merge into one continuous exchange, generating a field that holds intention, amplifies presence, and allows creation to emerge from coherence.

Within this coherence, passion is purposeful. Energy organizes into clarity, desire sharpens into vision, and the body becomes a conduit for creation. Intimacy becomes an initiation, and our pleasure becomes prayer.

This is the portal.

Where desire is the direction towards deeper union and communion, to amplify the body as a living expression of sacred design.

To be so completely understood in the depths of our being as no one else can offer. This is true intimacy. This is the basis of huge growth. We must be able to immerse ourselves deeply in consciousness together so that our intimacy reaches incredible heights.

Otherwise, we will reach the ceiling in our partnerships and we will not develop further.

This is when one or both partners entrust their thoughts and feelings to a third party to satisfy unmet needs, and then intimacy fails.

Seek not so much someone who tempts the eye as someone who tempts the mind.

Who ignites your search for intellectual wealth and sets out to search for someone who shows not only deep compassion, but also deep understanding.

There is no greater intimacy than that between two people who can solve secrets together that no one else could even understand from either of them.

This is when the spiritual heart feels fulfilled. She can be stunning and yes, it's beautiful,

But her beautiful mind is something I value more than a pair of gorgeous eyes and a perfect body. A mind capable and willing to travel beyond the limits of human consciousness when we expand beyond the firmament, that is a completely different level of sex appeal.

♥️

THE LIMITLESS WAYS OF MAKING LOVE

I love to love, and I love to make love.

One of the understandings on this journey is how many ways there are to make love, and what amazing, limitless doors of possibility this idea opens for us.

Many of us hear that phrase, making love, and our minds go to something genital, something penetrative, something with an orgasm, hopefully for everyone involved…

Here's a short and important digression.

It's important because that's really what this piece is about, making love, and how many ways there are to make love.

When we go to the sexual thing we're narrowing, limiting our experience enormously.

We're making it about a small part of us, a very beautiful, wonderful part of us.

But a small part.

And a limited one, because when we go to the sexual in this way, we're going to a specific ending, an act that follows a pattern that we know well.

Being a lover, and making love, is the awareness of every part of ourselves.

Our bodies, our minds, our hearts, our energy.

Being a lover is connecting with, having a relationship with, learning about, exploring and developing all these parts of ourselves.

Then expressing them with another in so many ways.

And running through all these is love, making love, bringing love, awakening love, opening love.

From that we see how our genitals are but a small part of this.

We learn to make love by being present.

We learn to make love by listening.

We learn to make love by being in our bodies, in our hearts, in our feelings.

We learn to make love with the fullness of our senses.

We learn to make love with our eyes.

The eyes of presence, looking at you, looking into you.

Eyes that see you, your body, your face, in a way that you feel.

Ears that listen to you, that hear you.

Words, so powerful, what we say, the way we say it, how this can be such deep lovemaking.

A whisper, words of intimacy, words of desire.

We learn about moments, the power of moments.

I teach, as part of healing and growth journeys, a range of micro-practices that we do for a minute or so.

This changes so many patterns, brings us into presence, moves energy.

The same with making love.

Moments

Of presence, that's the key, we feel that.

A touch, especially, mmm, a kiss on the neck, a hand, a look, a word, an embrace, a whisper.

A flower, one flower.

The power of moments, each one a flame to a fire that never goes out.

It's actually one of the keys to keeping a relationship exciting. So simple. Learn about moments.

We learn about presence.

A lot of sex isn't present. It's about getting somewhere, to the end. And doing what we have to do to get there.

Making love, here now.

Present in the touch.

Present in the coffee we're having, the conversation with the coffee.

Not in a fantasy, although sharing a fantasy can be an exciting expression of lovemaking.

Here with you, especially in what I'm feeling with you.

The sensations in my body, in yours.

To be present is to feel.

We learn about the body.

About the whole beautiful, amazing body

The body of endless discovery and exploration.

The body that wakes up to sensation, different parts of us becoming sensitive.

We learn about how to touch, how many ways there are to touch.

To use our hands, our mouths, all of our bodies.

And how touch, touching the whole body, touching one part of the body, an ear, a hand, the lower back, the inside of the elbow, can be a moment of making love.

There are as many ways to make love as there are moments in the day.

There are as many ways to connect with you as in all the ways we express ourselves in life.

The more we make love, the more love there is.

And the possibilities of love are limitless…

~ Jonti Searll

There is no perfect person,

Only perfect peace.

Peace that comes from knowing you are loved unconditionally.

Peace that comes from the understanding that you are never alone, not for a single moment.

Peace that comes from trusting that life is working for your good in every situation.

Peace that comes from remembering you are held dear by a force that will never abandon, reject, or betray you.

Peace that comes from the healing that only divine love can bring.

And from that perfect peace, you can love another in their imperfection.

You can see them as they are, not as you wish them to be.

You can love them freely, knowing that you need nothing from them because you are already whole.

There is no perfect person ...

Only one perfect Love that ripples out in the way you relate to all others.

©️ Emily Jane

♥️

Some men aren't worth your time.

They don't want to love you properly at all, but at the same time they don't want to let you go.

The more you give to them, the less they unfortunately appreciate, and the minute you've had enough and decide to walk away is when they are ready to love you and treat you right.

So you decide to give them a chance in the hopes they've changed only to realize they only changed for a very short period of time.

You finally find the strength to walk away and here he comes again, proclaiming his love for you.

What alot of people dont understand is that if a man shows anger and persistence to get you back once you try to break it off isn't proof of love at all.

A man trying to flatter you or making weak attempts to be "nicer" for a couple weeks isn't proof that he's trying, its proof that he knows you well enough to know how to defuse you long enough to hook you once again.

Lets put it this way....

If you take a childs toy away from them, the child begins to cry.

Same goes for the relationship... If you take away a relationship of convenience, a man begins to cry. Just because he cries doesn't mean you give him what he wants.

Stop listening to what your man keeps promising you and start watching what his actions keep telling you.

A lot of women don't know what its like to be loved by a real man.

You know lust, you know joy, you know passion and you know the fear of abandonment.

Stop chasing your idea of what love should be and recognize what love actually is.

Love isn't promising to act right after he gets caught screwing up time and time again.

Love is him acting right from the very beginning because he doesn't want to lose you because he knows how truly special you are.

Love isn't telling your grown man he needs to change so he can keep you, love is a grown man changing on his own because he cant imagine life without you.

So take my advice and choose to be loved properly and always no matter what..... remember your worth.

♥️

SOFTNESS IS THE INVITATION TO DEEP STATES OF PLEASURE

We enter deep states of pleasure through relaxation rather than through contraction.

We enter deep states of pleasure through softening rather than through tensing.

We enter deep states of pleasure through allowing rather than through chasing.

We enter deep states of pleasure through surrender rather than striving.

For so much of our world the model of life, of love and of pleasure is one of tightness, tension and contraction.

This is so apparent in our bodies, in all we hold inside of us.

It keeps us in a space, and a way of living that's about constant alertness, constant guardedness, constant stress.

Taking time to contemplate this, I see how this impacts on love, on our hearts, on the way we love.

On how this expands into pleasure and the way we experience this.

Often with what we see, experience, perceive as a sexual blockage, issue, problem, pain.

We soon see that these journeys are about life, all of life. They have to be, as our sexuality, our sensuality, our eroticism and our love, are not in a vacuum. They're not separate, rather a part of every aspect of who we are, and of our lives.

With a soft touch, we begin to open.

With a gentle breath, we begin to open.

With a quiet sigh, we begin to open.

With a small gesture, we begin to open.

With a whispered word, we begin to open.

The softness touches us with safety, with slowness to release, to let go.

The gentleness brings us into presence.

This is what allows space in our bodies, in our hearts.

Space for the Yoni to open, softly.

Space for the Lingam to fill.

Space for the Heart to expand.

Space for the body to move.

Softly, slowly.

Yes, there's fire.

Space for the fire to burn.

Space for the earth to tremble.

Space for the water to flow.

Space for the wind to blow.

Space for the hard, the fast.

It's the soft that makes the space, it's the slow that opens us, it's the gentle that invites us.

Intimacy, our deepest longing, connection, our deepest desire, flows, dances.

In rigidity, in stiffness, we are stifled, small.

They are but a trickle.

Softness makes space for the liquid within us, the juice of life, the passion, the lava of our love, to flow.

I've come to see how when we live in the tightness, love becomes distorted, strangled.

What we express as love is so much protection, defense, guarding.

A heart that longs to bloom, to flower, to share its vastness, its tenderness, its strength, its openness.

For the inner channels to open, for the sacred nectars within us, the mystical waters, the sacred lights to flow.

Softness first.

Before the fire, softness.

That's the entrance to the portals, the vortexes, the whirls of energy.

Gentleness.

The channel between YoniLingam and Heart, Throat, higher, lower to the earth.

Softness first.

Then the power has a way, has a place.

This is what sustains it, rather than the hype we seek, a flash, and it's gone.

To be met, in all of the ways we express our sensuality, our sexuality, our love, our pleasure, our eroticism, our creativity, our vitality, our passion, our intimacy, our joy, our tears.

For these things to be met, to be seen, to be felt, to come to the surface of our being, to be tasted, smelled, heard, felt.

After being held so deep inside.

Covered in hurt, suppressed, judged, softly, slowly, as if from a sleeping winter, they emerge into the light.

Blinking, breathing, with all their gifts.

Offering themselves to us, offering us to life.

Then the fire, then the wild, then the primal.

Then the roar of the beast within us, the tiger, the wolf, the dragon.

First the release, the letting go.

The sacred key, softly.

And our eyes see, our hearts feel.

The ice melts, the forest awakens, the stars shimmer.

And we are alive.

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The goal of an evolving relationship isn't to be with someone who doesn't challenge you... it's to love someone worth being challenged by.

The deepest love doesn't come when it's easy.

• It comes when you realise that this person helped you touch wounds you could have never found alone.

• It comes when they stayed with you as you burnt in the fire of becoming someone new.

• It comes when they didn't leave because it got too hard.

• It comes when you find your way back to connection again and again.

An evolving relationship isn't supposed to be easy.

You don't grow when it's easy.

You didn't come here for easy.

Easy is for those who refuse to let their egos die.

Easy is for those who want to play it safe in the shallows.

Easy is for those too scared to expose their shadows.

If you came here for love, you came here to be broken open.

To meet the edges of yourself and choose love from there.

It's not hard because the universe is cruel.

It's hard because you were made for more, and this is the only way to become it.

When things get difficult, don't forget this:

A real partnership isn't someone who loves you when it's comfortable.

It's someone who challenges you to become more than you could be on your own.

~ Damien Bohler

(written by a human)

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Pornography has done women a huge disservice

In teaching men

What they now think women want ...

Fast and furious

Disconnected

Minimal foreplay

Genital focused

Goal oriented

Release based

Penetrative

Sex

Nothing could be further from the truth

And to be fair ...

Any man can do that

But to make love with a woman

Slowly

Gently

Vulnerably

Connected

Journeying

Exploring

Discovering

Focusing on her whole body

Feeling her soul

Touching her spirit

Penetrating her heart

Well ...

That takes a special kind of man

A man who surrenders instead of controls

A man who gives as much as he takes

A man who opens his heart and not just his mind

A man who is not afraid to feel his depths

A man who understands his divine power

To lead her

To open her

To crack open her heart

A man who knows his gift

Sacred Ecstasy: Unlocking the Tantric and Taoist Path to Whole Body Orgasm

In the fleeting rush of conventional sexual encounters, pleasure often manifests as a genital orgasm—a localized spark that ignites briefly in the sexual organs, its intensity peaking for mere seconds before fading. This fleeting climax, while exhilarating, disperses the potent energy cultivated during intimacy, leaving lovers to swiftly shift their focus to mundane distractions: a meal, a screen, or the hum of daily life. Yet, within the ancient wisdom of Tantra and Taoist sexuality, there lies a transformative practice that transcends this ephemeral release, guiding practitioners toward a profound, whole body orgasm—a radiant, prolonged state of bliss that envelops the entire being and aligns the soul with the divine.

The whole body orgasm, revered in Tantric and Taoist traditions, is not merely a physical crescendo but a sacred alchemy of energy, breath, and intention. In Tantra, the journey begins with cultivating presence, where lovers honor each other as embodiments of the divine—Shiva and Shakti, the cosmic masculine and feminine energies entwined in eternal union. Through slow, deliberate touch and synchronized breathing, the sexual energy, or kundalini, is awakened at the base of the spine. Rather than rushing toward release, practitioners guide this serpentine energy upward through the chakras, allowing it to ripple through the body in waves of ecstatic vibration. This practice of energy expansion transforms the orgasm from a localized event into a full-body experience, where every cell pulses with divine pleasure.

Taoist sexuality, with its roots in ancient Chinese philosophy, complements this approach by emphasizing the cultivation and circulation of chi, or life force. In Taoist lovemaking, partners engage in the Microcosmic Orbit, a meditative practice where sexual energy is consciously circulated through the body’s energy channels, from the pelvis to the crown and back again. By harmonizing breath and movement, lovers learn to prolong arousal, delaying ejaculation or channeling it inward to amplify vitality. This retention of energy not only extends the orgasmic state for minutes or even hours but also replenishes the body, leaving practitioners radiant, energized, and deeply connected.

The key to this expansive ecstasy lies in relaxation and surrender. Unlike the tension-driven pursuit of conventional climax, Tantric and Taoist practices invite lovers to soften into the moment, releasing the need for control. Through rhythmic breathing—such as the Tantric ocean breath or the Taoist bellows breath—partners attune their energies, creating a shared energetic field. Eye gazing, a hallmark of Tantric intimacy, deepens this connection, allowing lovers to see and be seen in their vulnerability and divinity. As the genital energy expands, it floods the heart, throat, and crown, igniting sensations of warmth, tingling, and luminous joy that transcend the physical.

This prolonged state of orgasmic bliss is not merely a hedonistic pursuit but a spiritual awakening. In Tantra, the whole body orgasm is a gateway to samadhi, a state of union with the infinite, where the boundaries between self and other dissolve. Similarly, Taoist practitioners view this practice as a path to immortality, where the preservation of sexual energy strengthens the body and aligns it with the rhythms of the universe. Far from dissipating, the energy cultivated in these practices is contained and refined, leaving lovers revitalized, alert, and deeply attuned to one another. The afterglow is not a return to ordinary life but a sustained state of fullness, where partners feel interwoven with the divine pulse of existence.

To embody this sacred sexuality, practitioners are encouraged to approach intimacy with reverence and mindfulness. Create a temple-like space with soft lighting, incense, and soothing sounds to honor the ritual of connection. Begin with a heart-opening meditation, placing hands on each other’s hearts to align intentions. Move slowly, savoring each touch as an act of worship, and communicate openly to ensure mutual trust. By weaving Tantric and Taoist principles into lovemaking, partners can transcend the fleeting genital orgasm and step into a realm of infinite bliss, where the body becomes a vessel for divine ecstasy, and love becomes a bridge to the eternal.

Sacred Alchemy: A Man’s Guide to Understanding and Honoring the Female Orgasm

For men seeking to deepen their connection with their partners, understanding the female orgasm is not merely about technique or performance—it’s about embarking on a journey of empathy, patience, and reverence for the complex, multifaceted nature of female sexuality. The female orgasm is often misunderstood as a singular event, a predictable crescendo akin to the male experience. Yet, for women, it is a deeply personal and dynamic process, interwoven with physiological, emotional, psychological, and even spiritual dimensions. By approaching this sacred aspect of intimacy with curiosity and care, men can become true allies in their partner’s pleasure, fostering a bond that transcends the physical and touches the divine.

The female orgasm is part of the sexual response cycle, often perceived as the climax of arousal. However, this view can oversimplify a process that, for many women, is neither guaranteed nor uniform. Not all women experience orgasm regularly, and some may not know what it feels like or how to cultivate it. This reality is not a failure but a reflection of the intricate interplay between a woman’s body, mind, and life experiences. For some, orgasm is a fleeting moment of release; for others, particularly those who embrace Tantric or Taoist perspectives, it can be a gateway to profound ecstasy—a dissolution of boundaries where pleasure radiates through the entire being, connecting her to her partner and the universe itself.

To understand this, men must first recognize that a woman’s pleasure is sovereign. Her orgasm is not something you “give” her but something she discovers and allows within herself. This journey often begins with self-exploration, where she learns to connect with her body’s sources of joy. As a partner, your role is to create a safe, non-judgmental space for this exploration. Encourage her to share what feels good without pressure or expectation. Be aware that her ability to experience pleasure may be shaped by her history—family dynamics, cultural conditioning, past relationships, or even trauma. These factors can create internal permissions or restrictions, determining how freely she can surrender to sensation. Your patience and presence can help her feel empowered to reclaim her pleasure.

The physiological and emotional are deeply intertwined in female sexuality. A woman’s body responds not only to touch but to the emotional climate of the moment. Stress, insecurity, or unresolved tension can cause her nervous system to brace, limiting her capacity for arousal or orgasm. For example, unchanneled sexual energy or a fight-or-flight response triggered by past experiences can manifest as physical or emotional disconnection. Societal pressures further complicate this—women are often bombarded with messages about how they “should” look, perform, or behave in bed, leading some to prioritize a partner’s pleasure over their own. Over time, this can desensitize the body, resulting in difficulty experiencing orgasm or even anorgasmia, a condition where orgasm is absent.

As a man, your role is to approach intimacy with mindfulness and compassion, understanding that her orgasm is not a goal to achieve but a shared journey. Here are key ways to support her:

• Create Emotional Safety: A woman’s ability to open to pleasure depends on feeling safe and valued. Listen to her without judgment, validate her feelings, and show genuine curiosity about her desires. Avoid pressuring her to “perform” or reach orgasm, as this can create tension that inhibits arousal. Instead, let her know that her pleasure is a priority, and her experience—whether it includes orgasm or not—is enough.

• Honor Her Body’s Wisdom: Every woman’s body is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Take time to learn her body through slow, attentive touch. Ask for feedback and observe her responses—her breath, her movements, her sounds. In Tantric practices, this is akin to worshiping the divine feminine, where each touch is an offering. Be patient, as arousal for women often builds gradually, requiring sustained stimulation and emotional connection.

• Support Her Healing: Many women carry wounds from past experiences, from societal shame to sexual trauma. These can create dissociation between what she desires and what her body feels capable of. Encourage her to explore her sexuality at her own pace, whether through self-pleasure, therapy, or open communication with you. If she shares experiences of pain or fear, listen with empathy and avoid trying to “fix” her. Your role is to hold space for her healing, not to rush it.

• Embrace the Spiritual Dimension: In Tantric and Taoist traditions, the female orgasm is a sacred act, a merging of energies that transcends the physical. Engage in practices like eye gazing, synchronized breathing, or heart-to-heart connection to deepen intimacy. These practices align your energies, creating a shared field of trust and vulnerability. By viewing her pleasure as a spiritual offering, you invite her to expand into whole-body ecstasy, where orgasm becomes a radiant, all-encompassing experience.

• Let Go of Performance Metrics: The pressure to “make” her orgasm can create anxiety for both of you. Release the need for a specific outcome and focus on the journey of connection. Celebrate all forms of pleasure—whether it’s a giggle, a sigh, or a full-body shudder. In Taoist sexuality, the emphasis is on circulating energy rather than chasing climax, allowing both partners to savor prolonged states of arousal and vitality.

To embody this approach, approach intimacy as a ritual. Set the stage with a calming environment—soft lighting, soothing music, or a warm embrace. Begin with non-sexual touch, like holding hands or massaging her shoulders, to help her nervous system relax. Communicate openly, asking what she enjoys and sharing your own vulnerabilities to build trust. If she struggles with orgasm, reassure her that the goal is connection, not achievement. Over time, your attentiveness and care can help her reconnect with her body, transforming intimacy into a sacred dance of mutual discovery.

By honoring the complexity of the female orgasm, you become more than a lover—you become a partner in her journey toward self-sovereignty and ecstasy. This path requires patience, humility, and a willingness to learn, but the rewards are profound: a deeper bond, a shared spiritual awakening, and the joy of witnessing her bloom into her fullest expression of pleasure.

If you want to heal your sexuality, heal your soul...

Immerse yourself in yourself and discover the despair, desire, greed, need and fear that still rule over you and fully accept them.

Be with your desperation, loneliness, suffering, anger and heartache. Let it rise and flow through every cell of your body and release it through your sacred tears and the roar of original expression.

Feel your lust, longing and need to be loved, which push you to act against yourself. Lay down your pride in full surrender and become who you really are, facing the illusions of your attachments and let it all disappear.

Travel deeper into your inner landscapes and embody forgiveness. Feel the ways you cheated, lied, cheated, and manipulated to get what you wanted for yourself. Feel how you have been betrayed, lied to, deceived and manipulated. Let it sculpt a new depth in you. Immerse yourself in the holes of grief and shame and free yourself, feeling and releasing them all the time.

Do everything you can to connect with your body and feel fear and distrust stored in it. Hug them closer, invite them deeper, breathe more fully. See how they dissolve thanks to the combination of love and the healing tenderness of presence.

Listen to the voice of your soul speaking through you. Let yourself be captured and carried away by the power of shakti expressing and communicating with you. Feel what you didn't let yourself feel and finally let go of the walls that built your empire in coated armor.

Find pleasure in opening the channels of bliss and ecstasy. Gracefully stay in the center of your own heart. Give in to the present moment and let your heart open so completely that all the ancient seeds of shadows will dissolve.

See how your naked and defenseless soul opens up completely. Become vulnerable. This is the chariot that moves your sexuality, the vehicle that purifies and awakens you further into the Divine. This is a journey of sexual healing of your soul and welcoming yourself at home.