I hate my face.

I hate my eyes.

I hate my ears.

I hate my nose.

I hate my mouth.

I hate my lips.

I hate my hair.

I hate my neck.

I hate my shoulders.

I hate my chest.

I hate my back.

I hate my belly.

I hate my hips.

I hate my arms.

I hate my hands.

I hate my fingers.

I hate my skin.

I hate my crotch.

I hate my thighs.

I hate my knees.

I hate my legs.

I hate my feet.

I hate my ankles.

I hate my toes.

I hate my smile.

I hate my laugh.

I hate my scars.

I hate my stretch marks.

I hate my bones.

I hate my body hair.

I hate my voice.

I hate my mind.

I hate my thoughts.

I hate my dysphoria.

I hate my depression.

I hate my anxiety.

I hate my eating disorders.

I hate my trauma.

I hate my nightmares.

I hate my past.

I hate my memories.

I hate my childhood.

I hate my adolescence.

I hate my adulthood.

I hate my existence.

I hate my life.

National Park Harz Germany

I try to be enough.

I really do.

But I also know I will never be.

Black, deep black. She opens her eyes. Black, deep black.

Is this real? Is it? Is darkness real?

She looks around her. Black, deep black. Just. Plain. Black.

Is this a nightmare? Is it? Is she even alive? No, just simply existing.

What's the worst feeling? Darkness. Loneliness. Blackness.

Save her. Just pull her back, Don't let her fade away. Don't. Please, Save her.

Pleading. Praying. Is anyone even there? Can anyone hear her? Help her. Slowly... Fading... Going... She's swallowed by the darkness. She's gone. Gone... just like that.