Did you do something slutty?Â
People are particularly stupid today. I canât talk to any more of them.
I already had the longest day of my life and oh look, itâs only 10! How nice!
This is not a herbal tea morning, this is a coffee morning.
This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an I.V.
To me you are the teacher in the Charlie Brown Cartoon.
You are giving me that look, arenât you? Your patented âDo it or something unspeakable shall befall youâ look.
I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.
I never thought a man would ever even want me.
Iâm looking up âaneurysmâ in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one.
I donât think youâre taking me seriously.
I just donât want to do or say anything else thatâs gonna be remotely moronic.
Iâm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in Moron.
Are you in any way malnourished, or in need of some international relief organization to recruit a celebrity to raise money on your account?
Not everyone finds the idea of being pelted with frozen water appealing.
This is not a drive-through! She is not fried chicken!
I canât imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment.
Iâm not avoiding anything. Iâm going to find coffee.
No, you know what hurts? Having a screwdriver jammed in the side of your head.
You, however never shut-up no matter how hard I throw you against the wall, thus ensuring the wake-up process.
We should commemorate it with an oil painting or a severed head or something.
If you say thereâs no reason for the mood, then thereâs no reason for the mood. Youâre simply nuts.
Yeah, you do know honey that garbage doesnât actually talk at all unless itâs on Sesame Street.
Did you know that a butt model makes $10,000 a day?
So what time does the judgmental express arrive?
Hey, I have a huge dilemma that I need your opinion on!Â