TulkasofValinor

The burden of the thought that; though I did not ask to be brought here, into existence, yet, here, I am. I do not wish to ever lose consciousness for when I do, I shall cease to exist. And again, I do not wish to lose my consciousness, my existence, but I will cease to be and not be able to even care. But my wife, my two daughters... that's three people whose lives will forever be dramatically changed, three people whose lives I instantaneously fuck up forever. And I know these people, they will be really fucked up about my passing. So I have to make it my diving factor, to extend my existence out and onward for as long as possibly can. Simply exist, just abide (if you will), for as long as I can; and try to learn to speak, to pass on what knowledge I have gathered so these people have reason to remember me with warmth in their hearts.