a feverish place

It was like the universe loved playing this constant joke on her. When anyone else in the world could help her, Tuck was the one to show up. The last time they had seen each other had been a disaster, to say the least, and this was not how she wanted to encounter him for the first time since. But beggars couldn’t be choosers so Bridget cracked the door since the window wouldn’t go down. “Hey.. My car is having a stroke.” 

Tuck knew that the last time they were together he made an ass of himself. He hadn’t apologized and he didn’t want to. Part of him still felt bitter. He knew his reaction was irrational but he hadn’t gotten around to believing that part of his feelings weren’t valid. Not that now was the time to work through any of that. He nodded at her explanation. “You wanna pop the hood and I’ll take a look?”

“Are you seriously trying to tell me that when you’re talking to another girl or you’re out at the bar, you’re constantly thinking about me or wanting me to walk through the door? Because if that’s the case then we really need to re-evaluate what we’re doing here.” Bridget eyed the drink in Tuck’s hand and knew that wasn’t helping, but also that wasn’t anything new. “Because up until now I’ve been discreet, I’ve been good. I’ve never made you look dumb. I don’t actually think you can say the same that you’ve done that for me.” 

“Okay, I’m not talking about it like every time you’re out that you should be considering in me, but yeah at stuff like this where the chances are higher you are someone that I look for and I don’t think that should really come as surprise.” Despite not being able to give her the commitment that she wanted it wasn’t like he hadn’t shown that she was special to him. “What have I done for you? When have I made you look dumb. I have always been honest with you.”

“No that’s just how you’re reading it. I never said that, I never would.” All she had wanted was to be Tuck’s only girl but that was never going to be a possibility. The moment she acted on it, he got all pissed. It was making her blood boil. “Well I’m sorry you’re upset about it and I’m sorry you saw it, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry I didn’t follow your arbitrary words but I haven’t done anything you haven’t done. Not even close.” 

“How else am I supposed to take it that you are so caught up in another guy that I was not even a thought on your radius?” He questioned, taking another sip of his drink like that was going to help tame down what he was feeling. “Oh yeah, you seem real sorry,” Tuck rolled his eyes. “Not even close? What does that even mean?”

“Did I say that? Because I don’t remember saying that.” Her immediate go to in any situation was to apologize, but Bridget knew she had done nothing wrong. Maybe a bit insensitive, but absolutely not wrong. “You didn’t come seek me out either. If you hadn’t run into me would you have known I was here?” She seriously doubted it. Tuck seemed to only be into her when it was convenient. “You can’t seriously be pissed at me right now.”

“You didn’t have to say it with the way that you’re implying it,” he reasoned. There was rarely any moment that Tuck didn’t have alcohol in his system but if he had just been slightly more sober none of this would have been coming out. “Why the fuck do you think that I saw you? Because I was looking for you. I basically always do at this shit, so yeah I would have known,” he argued. “Oh I can’t be pissed that you can’t be respectful enough to be a little discreet?”

While she couldn’t argue with that, it still felt hypocritical. There had been months where she didn’t even realize she could see other people and even when she did realize she hadn’t. Now he happened to see her kissing Tripp and he lost it? How was that fair. “I had no idea that you were around.. I didn’t even realize you were here in general..” 

There is no reason that she should have known, but that rubbed him the wrong way. That she didn’t even look for him just because she wanted to. He had no right to his feelings but that didn’t stop him from having them. To feel like he could just be replaced. “Okay, cool. Yeah. That’s just fucking great,” Tuck nodded. “Well I’m glad this guy’s tongue work is so good that you forgot I existed.”

Something clicked in Bridget’s head at his comment. “Wait are you serious?” She thought they had been joking around and here he was actually mad. Which was crazy considering everything that he had put her through. It wasn’t like she had done anything different than he had. “Don’t do that, it’s just a party. You’ve done it, right?”

Her reaction when it clicked did nothing to better his mood. Tuck let out a scoffing laugh. “I don’t do it in front of you,” he was quick to argue back. “Yeah we are seeing other people but when was the last time I was all up in your face just making out with some girl?”

“I’m a married woman, hun. I can’t cause a scene by partaking in these silly little games.”

“All the more reason to just go with what I’m suggesting here. Let the kids have their fun and have your fun with me.”

The ‘yup’ that came from Tuck could not have sounded less enthusiastic. She replayed her head in her night to figure out if it was anything she had done, but all she had done was play some games, make out with Tripp and hang out with her friends. Nothing that he hadn’t done or had the freedom to do. “Yeah you don’t exactly seem like a seven minutes in heaven type of guy.”

He didn’t know why but it bothered him that she was so unaware of why he was off. It wasn’t that he believed that she owed him anything but it felt more like playing dumb to him like she was skirting around things. Maybe she wasn’t but he wasn’t of sound mind, the alcohol and jealousy clouding all reason. “Yeah, I guess you could say that,” he nodded. “I guess making out in front of everybody to see just really isn’t my thing.”

Bridget had been drinking plenty, but even with her clouded judgment, she could tell that Tuck was light years ahead of her. “Well it’s a party isn’t that the point?” He looked pissed, but as far as she knew she hadn’t heard of anything that would have upset him so far. “You’re not having a good time?”

It wasn’t like anything he had seen wasn’t fair. He was the reason that she could kiss whomever she wanted. He knew that, but that didn’t stop the jealousy from making him less than reasonable with the situation. Even just the way she replied left him feeling upright. “Yup,” he landed the word hard, taking a drink. “Guess I’m just not a fan of the entertainment.”

“Can’t believe you didn’t wear the suggestions I sent that I wanted to see you in.”

He didn’t know what drink number he was on. Tuck drank all the time so his tolerance was high. Parties he drank even more because it was an excuse to let go without people questioning it. Except it wasn’t for fun that he was downing drinks now. It was to cure the knotted feeling in his stomach after seeing Bridget. “You sure know how to have a good time.”

“Really gonna waste your time with these games? When we both know the results you want?”

“No you’re nothing if not incredibly responsible.” Since things had fallen apart with Tuck, Bridget had tried to move on and be happy but it hadn’t matched what she had had with Tuck. What was the point of fighting something that made her feel good just because it was complicated? “Mexican always sounds good to me. I’ve never said no to an enchilada.” Bridget put her arm through Tuck’s as they started towards Lucha’s. “It’s good to see you you know.”

“Wish you could tell the board that.” His organization was basically the only thing he took responsibility in. He definitely never did so in relationships. “Great.” He didn’t expect the contact nor her words but he liked both. “Don’t know if I really did know that.” The light laughter that came was a nervous one. It wasn’t like he ever made it a secret that he was good at any emotional talks. Not that her comment was anything heavy but it touched on missing her and why he did. “But I’m glad you feel that way.”

“Yeah? Alright - and what is it that you think I need tonight then, hmm?”

“A complete release,” he kept it simple a corner of his mouth turning upward.

“Quite frankly it would be irresponsible.” Bridget shot back, the grin finally cracking on her face. She was so sick of keeping Tuck at arms length. Even if they didn’t have a future, it didn’t mean she couldn’t be happy and have fun in the meantime. “What do you want to eat?”

“And we can’t have that,” he gave a little shake of his head. He wanted what they used to have. He wanted the comfort of what it was like to be with her. Tuck was a short term guy. It worked for him and he wasn’t going to change that but he couldn’t deny that there was something not letting him let go of her. “Lucha’s is still open. Mexican sound good to you?”

“No,” Aaliya shook her head, the words not coming out with much anger, but stern. She just felt stupid and she hated that. “I just want to go home, just take me.” She pulled her arm away.

Tuck didn’t reach for her again even though he wanted to. He was mindful of her boundaries after crossing them before. He didn’t move to the car though or unlock it. “Please just stay. I want you to stay. I fucked up but we don’t have to just have our nights be shitty and alone.”